Author

Subject: I turned into an Angel

Julie

06:17 10/12/2001 

I was at work in my cubicle in California keying in some information into the computer and I wasn't feeling well. I was feeling quite dizzy and blue.

My work mates were passing through the hall behind me, staring at me, some with really odd expressions on their faces, and some were pointing and laughing. I felt as if I was in a zoo.

Suddenly, a figure appeared from one side of the cubicle as I was typing. I saw it out of the corner of my eye. It came straight out of the wall. It brushed the back of my shoulder blades as it went through the wall on the other side. As I turned to see it go through the wall, I noticed wings.

I decided that I would go ask one of my co-workers for a mirror as I felt really strange especially my back. I could feel knobs coming out of my shoulder blades.

As I was looking in the mirror, I saw this person: made of a lot of light with very deep blue eyes, so blue they were hypnotizing. She had wings to the floor and they were dragging. This person was me.

It startled me so I turned around and there was another angel standing behind me. It had long white hair and was full of a light that nearly blinded me. I dropped the mirror breaking it. The angel ran out a door and then ran out another door outside. I ran after it.

As I came outside, I saw the angel.

It was 9 feet tall with a huge wingspan. I was so awed I fell on my knees on the pavement. The angel held out its hand to me and said, "Come!" I bowed. It said, "Come!" I took its hand and we flew up over the bay.

We must have been flying for hours, when the angel said, "Fly through here."

There was a hole in the sky. As I flew through the hole, I felt I hit a line or rope or something and as I hit it, instantly I knew everything there is to know on Earth. I flew on up to the clouds where we sat on a cloud and talked. There were other angels around and there was a golden light coming from below. The angel tried to convince me that I needed to resolve my purpose on Earth and that I had to go back. And soon I realized I still needed my children. So he took me back and told me, "Don't forget to soar."

We passed the line of knowledge and he explained to me then that I would not be able to come back until I died as the line of knowledge would keep me on Earth.

We made clouds in the sky by twirling and rushing through them. It was a game.

Then I started falling and he started yelling, "Flap your wings!" I flapped as hard as I could. I gently touched down on the ground realizing I had come through the front windows of my living room without breaking them.

I woke up standing in my living room.

Immediately, I looked out the front window for my car. And when I couldn't find it, I thought the dream was real. Five minutes later I realized that my husband had taken it to get it repaired.

Note:

I had poison oak in my eyes and the doctor told me that I might go blind because I had put Caladryl on my eyelids. He gave me some medicine that was an inhibitor and told me to get a lot of rest. I went to bed and had this dream.

This dream was so awesome and real that I cried for three nights because I wanted to go back in the peace.

Dream edited for easier reading - JT, 2005

Read the original thread or Jane Teresa's view.

Star

10:48 10/12/2001 

Absolutely Beautiful Julie - now, having found your wings and the peace within, as your inner Angel told you "Don't forget to soar".

julianne

18:52 12/12/2001 

Hi Julie,

I think I've just found my wings too, although I just seem to float in my dreams. It's amazing when you are dreaming, realise you are dreaming, and try flying around. Awesome...absolutely awesome. What I wonder is am I just dreaming, astral projecting or both?

All the very best of luck for your new found wings,

julianne

Star

20:04 12/12/2001 

Hi Julianne - just have to comment on your question here. Perhaps you are realising (real eyesing - seeing through real eyes) that you are far more than just a body and what your mind would have you believe.

julianne

17:52 14/12/2001 

Hi Star (and everyone else who reads this),

Thanks for your thoughts.

I'd like to believe that we are more than just bodies and chemical reactions, but how can I learn more about this sort of thing?

I had a strange incident to do with the bible about a week ago. I don't believe in the bible, as it seems like just a story book. I've always tried to find the truth by myself - without the suffocating influence of organized religion. I'm wondering if it is even possible to find the 'truth' by yourself. Any ideas or thoughts on this? Any thoughts on the bible?

Star

20:30 14/12/2001 

Hi Julianne - very simply - the truth lays within, by working with and understanding the symbolic language of our dreams and treating absolutely everything we encounter either in dreams or "waking" reality as a symbolic aspect of Self.

I know what you speak of about organized religion and yes it is possible to find truth by yourself, for it is the only way you can find it, ever.

When read symbolically rather than literally the Bible contains much wisdom and makes more sense, as do many of the other ancient texts.

Whilst I studied various relgious beliefs, Ancient Cultures and Civilisations, Mythology etc. my main understanding came from studying and working with Indigenous Cultures, mainly Native American and Aboriginal and their beliefs in relation to Life and Dreaming and I found that amongst all the religions I read about there were maybe a handful of common threads within all. The rest, to me, spoke of nothing more than dogma and others seeking control and power over the people.

There is an old Buddhist Saying.

"Look within oneself, realise the ultimate truth."

I was passionate about finding truth for me as from my childhood experiences I knew I was far more than just a body with a name, or the sum of my conditioning,my fears and my re-actions.

My experiences were seen as "weird" or "just my imagination." But where does imagination come from???

Those around me as I grew up had no understanding of what I was experiencing, so therefore they feared and mocked what I would share, they still do not understand and perhaps never will and I have long given up trying to get them to understand it, but it reached a point for me where I figured there was something dreadfully "wrong" with me.

So, I shut down, literally nearly dying physically in the process, and whilst a huge part of me did die, it took one hell of a journey over a period of 9 years for me to find what was truth for me and for me to find me.

All I simply asked one day was "Who am I and what is truth?" It was a question not from my head but from deep within my heart and the desire to not stop until I did find truth was, in hindsight, obsessive as it was driven by a force inside of me that nothing and no-one was going to or could stop.

As experiences reached a point of total bizareness to my logical mind, so much so that at times it was like walking a very fine line between what I believed at the time to be sanity and insanity, all I had to and could do was have faith and trust that some part of me knew exactly what it was doing, whilst still remaining silent about what I was experiencing, as I clearly saw that others didn't have a clue what I was talking about.

As much as we all dislike it, to find it requires periods of aloneness. It also requires spending as much time in natural environments as possible, preferably alone, and some form of creative expression, be that writing, art, sculpture, music, whatever, as you go through the different processes, whilst keeping and working with a Dream Journal, using Jane Teresa's methodology. One of the major key ingredients also is to really feel whatever you are experiencing - to feel is to heal.

It is not saying I am sad, I am angry, etc. it is actually feeling that emotion and expressing it fully in whatever way is necessary without harm to others.

Whilst I knew I wanted to know truth and truth only, in my wildest dreams I never thought for one second, I would find it in my dreams, but it was there.

I just had to learn the language it was speaking.

julianne

10:41 16/12/2001 

Hi Star,

Thanks very much for your email, and your time - I really appreciate sharing your experiences.

I've always thought I know the truth (to a limited extent), but sometimes it feels like I'm just being arrogant - thinking that the outside world is full of messages and signs directed at me. I guess its not arrogant though if we all bring messages into our lives. It's just a matter of seeing them or not.

When I look inside, I am told that there is such a thing as reincarnation, or something similar. May I ask for your thoughts on reincarnation?

I am very interested in the 'common threads' you speak of between the religions you've studied. I'd like to have the time to study what you have, but I'm studying something else. If you have the time and the inclination, can you tell me more about them please? If I can help you in any way to repay you, I'd be happy to, although I'm not sure I can teach you anything as I'm only young.

You wrote: "As experiences reached a point of total bizareness to my logical mind, so much so that at times it was like walking a very fine line between what I believed at the time to be sanity and insanity, all I had to and could do was have faith and trust that some part of me knew exactly what it was doing, whilst still remaining silent about what I was experiencing, as I clearly saw that others didn't have a clue what I was talking about".

This is what I'm going through now - I've told a couple close friends, but they think its all in my mind - or there is some other logical explanation for it all.

Thanks again.

Star

13:38 16/12/2001 

Hi Julianne - my pleasure.

Sometime way back 683 or 883, I forget the exact year, but a group of men got together apparently and got rid of all direct reference to reincarnation out of the Bible. Christ reincarnated - he just came back momentarily in the body he'd already left.

I found myself in many past life dream scenarios that were paralleled by waking reality situations. Only this time around I took the opportunity to change the decisions made then or release the feelings they created that I'd held onto subconsciously, like the fear of death for example which I had to face many many times in dreams, throughout various "time periods" in history.

An example of the parallel dream/life scenarios - I dream one night I am a maid in a South American Mansion, wearing the typical black and white uniforms maids used to. My boss, a bald pompous big rich man is screaming at me - "Where's my aftershave you stupid f...... bitch?" With hands trembling I open a cupboard to see many rows of aftershave.

I wake, take a shower, am drying myself and my partner at the time yells out from the kitchen - do we have any aftershave - he is balding, big, doesn't mind spending a dollar or two, and has quite a temper when he so chooses - I look in the cupboard and see at least 6 bottles of aftershave.

Smiling to myself due to the dream warning - I reply yes we have aftershave but I do not take it to him running and frightened, as the maid would have done. I finish drying and dressing myself and let him come get it for himself - and geez it felt good.

Buddhists have the Wheel of Life, Native Americans the Circle of Life, and many other beliefs refer to something similar. A Circle never ends and according to what I found on Native American philosophy we do an Earth Walk - The Good Red Road during which time we get guidance from our dreams as to how to make that walk easier. When we have done whatever we needed to, then we pass onto the Blue Road of Spirit and into the Other Side Camp at the time of "dropping our robes" - physically dying - and so it continues in a never ending Circle.

Seems to me each time round any issues not previously resolved, any lessons not learned, anything we are hanging onto we need to let go of will manifest, whether we recognize what is going on or not and do anything about it is up to us - perhaps this is what is known as karma to some degree.

All religions and beliefs have Creation stories, all agreeing on a big flood that covered the world - including from memory African belief also. They also all speak of a new world still yet to come. Which I believe we are in the process of creating now. We're presently in transition phase if you like.

Christians have "The Kingdom of Heaven Lies Within" - "The truth lays within" - Buddhists "The ultimate truth lies within" and each has their own version of this. The message Christ brought was very simple really but even to this day western society still generally speaking haven't got it.

All religions speak of entering the silence, in one form or another. Most also stated in one form or another that when the student is ready the teacher will appear and many of us take that on board literally waiting for someone to come along, sit us down and teach us - we are all students and teachers in the school of life, regardless of our age. Just because someone is older, doesn't necessarily mean they have nothing to learn from someone who is younger than them.

The Bible is full of dream stories as are other ancient cultural beliefs. Bible refers to some of it's characters as "being taken up in Spirit" - Conscious Dreaming perhaps, - more than likely - just like the experience Julie had in the Angel Dream that started this conversation.

Another common thread was that God/Great Spirit whatever label you want to put on it exists within all, is everywhere, therefore all is connected. Generally speaking most refer to God as "him" yet the power of creation is a feminine energy, the power of manifestation masculine.

This all being connected theory was present in all that I looked at. Aboriginal, Native American and many other indigenous cultures speak of the trees, rocks, earth, stars, animals, etc. all being their "brothers and sisters" and whilst it is great to have theories - when you truly do know it by actually experiencing it, it becomes a whole different ball game.

All I can say in relation to your friends is that writing became my best friend.

Blessings for the journey Julianne, Star.

Julie

14:12 16/12/2001 

You know Julianne that story really sounds familiar. I, too, am searching. . . . . but, I think God wants us to do that. Search for him. I was taking a bible class oh, about 2 months ago. The minister there told us the story of Adam and Eve in a very diffrent light. He said that we ran and hid from God. And we did and we've been running ever since. He said, all we need do is "Stop" and let God catch up to us. I'm not sure that I believe this. I think we need to find him. What do you think?

julianne

13:01 19/12/2001 

Hi Star, Julie, and everyone,

Sorry I didn't reply sooner - I'm visiting my parents, whom I havn't seen for 6 months.

Thanks again for your words Star - You mentioned just about everything that I believe in. The problem for me was that my whole life, I've believed in all this stuff, did not know where it came from. As I grew up I kept an open mind because you always hear about kids having a fantastic imagination, and making things up, and having childhood dreams. I was always caught between whether my gut feelings were real or whether they are just fantasies, like fairies and elves - straight out of Enid Blyton's stories. You know what though?...I think that finally I have enough proof for myself. What I want now is enough proof to convince other people who did not experience what I have my whole life. I need proof enough to convince my hard nosed scientific friends and relatives, and everyone else who wants to listen. I want to find the common ground between spirituality and science, because I really think there is one. Then I want to prove it to the world, because I think it will make the world a much better place - in many different and wonderful ways. It will be difficult, and we always have to avoid stepping on people's toes unnecessarily. However, at specific well-thought out times, I think we may have to step on toes - sometimes even to stamp on them! .....then give them time to recover.

I'm very happy you found writing Star, and that you have learnt what you feel you needed.

Julie> I believe in the things that you and Star just mentioned: reincarnation or something simliar, the purpose of which I believe is to be able to become more godlike. That is, I think we should try to cultivate perfection in every aspect of our lives, and consciously think - what would god do in this situation? I also think that god is usually subtle, and our lives are noisy, although at times god needs to be less subtle, and sometimes downright catastrophic. I can only tell you about my experiences, as I've always avoided all religious dogma and teaching so I could find my own way without bias and pressure. Searching is constant. Sometimes, we just need to be quiet, and just listen. Other times we need to actively search. I'm always searching for more detail and constantly trying to update, and fill in the blanks.

Wisdom cannot be cast in stone. Wisdom is more like an algorithm, or a set of rules that have been shaped and moulded through time and experience. We are all wise, but to varying degrees. Searching is a conscious,and sometimes difficult process, but keep trying - the results are priceless.

I also believe in Karma - for want of a better word. I think everything is connected, that we make our own futures, that we need to be quiet to find the correct solution, and that we need to make noise when we think we've found it. I also think we have to be careful making noise though as how can we be sure we are right? Just create anough noise to pass on any information you've found, as your information could be the teacher that someone listening needs so desperately. One of the most important points to remember is that arrogance is like a black hole - nothing can escape and flourish. Arrogance is ok in moderation, because we need it to survive at times, but it always needs control.

Creation is a difficult one. I study evolution, and believe wholeheartedly in it. I feel very close to non-human animals. How it connects to god, though, I'm still working on.

I also think (like Star) that there is a new world blossoming at the fringes of today's world. I think it will usher in a new era charterised by individualism, open-mindedness, empathy for all forms of life, and acceptance.

Another things Star mentioned was that the truth lies within. I agree. Look within, stay quiet, ask god to teach you perhaps, and you will learn something. However small the lessons appears to be, taken over a life time, they become wisdom, which takes a lifetime to accumulate.

Have I answered your question Julie? Sorry for getting side tracked. It is difficult when everything is related. I guess in summary: We do need to be quiet, but not to let god 'catchup' because surely he/she is always many steps ahead? We need to be quiet so that we can hear the subtle messages, not just the loud ones. We also need to search at times for the more subtle ones. Some lessons are like dreams - they disperse in the harsh light of reality and today's society.

>Blessings for the journey Julianne, Star. Thanks very much Star- all the very best for yours and Julie's too.

Julie> just out of curiosity - what is your middle name? - if you don't mind sharing it anyway - please don't if it makes you uncomfortable.

Star

20:22 19/12/2001 

Hi Julieanne -

I can very much relate to your wanting to share with/convince others of what you know and your wanting to tell the world - been there and tried to do it and just want to share that for me it didn't work one bit, just left me even more confused and frustrated, with others fearing and avoiding me, cause they thought I was "weird".

Seems to me the only way anyone can be convinced and understand is - if and when they find and experience it for themselves for I have found it all to be a fool proof plan, literally. Each will and can only get whatever it is they can and do for where they are at, no matter how much convincing another tries to do. This is where acceptance and respect plays a big part as you can get 10 people to stand around the same tree and each will have a different view.

I have found it causes far less damage and is much more productive to plant seeds which will take off and grow of their own accord when they are ready, than it is to stamp on people's feet.

For me everything consists of molecules of energy manifesting in different forms - at the core of all those different forms is an energy that is so powerful nothing can stop it, it is all hearing, all seeing, all knowing - God/Great Spirit/Creative Energy/Sexual Energy/Universal Energy bla de bla, whatever label you want to put on it.

To truly connect with that core energy - the God within - just like an onion, the layers of conditioning, fear, etc. gradually get unpeeled via many many processes which can take lifetimes, to reveal the true authentic self and truth.

As someone posted recently on this forum some will just never get it. Which was good to read as often I have felt like I was banging my head against brick walls.

For me, all I could and still can do is work on me, treating absolutely everything that manifests in my experiences be they waking reality or the various dream states as a symbolic aspect of self, whilst living what for me is truth and doing what I love to do, which is work with others to uncover the truth their dreams are showing them and sharing what I know when I am asked.

Take Care. Star.

Julie

07:13 24/12/2001 

My middle name is Colleen.

julianne

10:04 24/12/2001 

Hi everyone, and thanks again Star,

I only stamp on someone's feet when they take advantage of those that are less fortunate, and they need to be jolted a little - if for no other reason than just to say - I'm witnessing your actions, and this is why I disagree with them. I never stamp for my own benefit either - I stamp for the animals, plants and other forms of life, which can't stamp for themselves.

I agree that seeds are more appropriate in general, but I still think that some people need their feet stamped on - like Bin Laden for instance. There are alot of people that take full advantage of others, and will do anything for personal gain. Perhaps it is better to just avoid these people, but sometimes this is not possible.

I guess I also feel that society has many of its priorities upsidedown, and I don't think politicians and other profit-oriented people will take much notice of seeds, many of which will wither and die. If we don't stamp, these people will continue to take advantage of people, other animals, and any other profitable form of life - for as long as they can get away with it. I really wish seeds were adequate, but I don't think seeds will flourish in the minds of people who decide the rules about whaling, deforestation, commercial fishing, etc...

All the very best for Christmas everyone,

julianne

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