Author

Subject: The Center Of My Being

jazzed

14:25 05/05/2001 

I was in Florence with my family. We walked into a public place and asked if we could smoke a cigarette. We were led to the corner of a room with a raised square, cement platform.

There were other people and luggage and purses on the floor. I put my purse down, next to many others and was standing there when someone reached out for me, put an arm around me and kissed me on the cheek and got romantic. At first I thought it was my husband (ex), but then I knew it was a stranger and still responded and enjoyed the romantic moment.

We went to our hotel and as I was putting the luggage down I realized I had left my purse in that place. I told my husband I was going back to it to look for my purse. This was close to our hotel. I was a bit concerned and tried to remember how much money I had and how many credit cards. I couldn't remember the amount. It was not a lot. I know it was more than I usually carry.

Back at the place I walked in through a different door and saw the same guy who had kissed me. He had two different identities. His name was Dennis when flirting and this identity was gay. His other identity was named Fernando. He was now wearing a baseball hat with the name Professor and the number 4 underneath. It seemed a whole crew had the same hat. They were intellectuals of some sort.

He helped me search for my purse in the various rooms. I found one similar but it wasn't mine and decided to leave. I specifically asked the guy to guide me out through the same door I had come in. Somehow this door was the wrong door, leading to a beach.

I walked back in and went out through a different door. I started walking to go back to Castel Fidardo Hotel where we were staying but I couldn't find my way. I didn't recognize the streets. I told myself it didn't look like Florence.

I kept walking and at one point asked for a ride and got in a car with 2 lady tourists but was unable to tell them which street I was going to. Then I realized I had a purse on my shoulder but on closer examination I realized it looked like mine (it was brown) but was not my purse.

Nevertheless I looked inside and found a cigarette case filled with little coupons. I put it back in the purse. I felt a wallet in another compartment but I didn't want to take it out in front of the ladies because it wasn't mine. But I intended to keep it.

We were moving very slowly looking around. I asked a guy if he could tell me how to get to Castel Fidardo. He took out a piece of paper and pen and seemed to be thinking. Then he showed me a crucifix which he wanted to sell me. I told him it was very pretty (it was a gold Christ mounted on a piece of wood) but I didn't want to buy it.

He just moved on to other people. I got kind of upset.

I continued on foot, supposedly with directions. At one point I was entering narrow streets. A group of people noticed me and one guy whom I had never seen before said in Italian (up to now they all spoke English) “Lady, you let everyone trick you!”

I realized people had given me the wrong directions on purpose. I had got further away from my hotel and had to go back.

I climbed down some funny steps that seemed to have openings between them but if I looked up they were comfortable to step on.

I woke up before reaching my destination.

Note:

Since Italy is home and Florence is in the center of the country, this might be 'my center of being'. Also in Castel Fidardo, Castle = my noble self and Fida = trust, in Italian.

Is the dream telling me I'm too gullible and trusting of strangers?

Dream edited for easier reading - JT, 2005

Read the original thread or Jane Teresa's view.

Shooting Star

22:50 05/05/2001 

Hi, will print this out in the morning and take a closer peek, then get back to you.

jazzed

23:32 05/05/2001 

Hi Shooting Star, I'm very excited that you will take a look at my dream! I've been reading your replies and find them interesting and enlightening! Looking forward to your insights. Sweet dreams, Jazzed

Shooting Star

05:13 06/05/2001 

Hi jazzed - I have some questions for you but first thank you so much for writing in small paras, and putting your comments at the end it makes the task of unravelling so much easier.

What do cigarettes mean to you?

Are you feeling like you need to ask persmission to do something from someone else?

Are you wanting to unload baggage you are carrying in relation to family issues or the way you were brought up?

Are you aware of part of yourself that exists which you would like to embrace which currently feels a bit strange to you?

What do purses, money and credit cards mean to you?

Are you seeking more freedom and security in your life?

Is there something in your past you either need to find again or are trying to leave behind but don't think you can?

Is it time to take a new direction in your life?

In relation to the guy with the two identities - is this how you are feeling? i.e. are you feeling torn in any way?

What does the name Dennis, which is very western mean to you?

What does Fernando which is a non-western name mean to you?

Are you feeling conflict/torn in relation to western and european ways of thinking?

What does the game baseball mean to you?

What do the words base and ball mean to you?

Are you going through changes in your way of thinking?

You mention the number 4 and the word whole - 4 parts make a whole and at the Center is you? Any connection there to your way of thinking? Are you wanting to or are you starting to think differently about life?

Is it time for you to leave a past way of being or thinking behind?

Is it time for you to connect more with your subconscious and what it is revealing to you?

Are you feeling directionless at present?

You are wanting to walk back to "Castel Fidaro" - is your dream showing you that it is time to once again find and "trust your noble Self?"

What do coupons mean to you?

Is there something within you that you do not want others to see?

Are there certain beliefs associated with the religion you were brought up in that you are no longer "buying?"

Are you feeling like you have been tricked into believing things that are not truth?

Are there opportunities different ways of thinking that are opening up for you that seem a bit odd but are suprisingly comfortable?

Are you trying to find the Center of your being?

jazzed

12:44 06/05/2001 

Dear Shooting Star, My answer to most of your questions is a resounding YES!!

I am a smoker. It's an addiction. Smoke creates a screen we may use to cover up something.

Yes, I often feel like I need to ask permission to do something

I believe we all carry baggage we need to unload. Jung called it our shadow. It's the part of us we have denied.

Purses, money and credit cards mean security to me. Money is what we use to get what we want.

I've always seeked more freedom and security. I now have more freedom than I've had in the past but I still feel limited in what I can do.

The names Dennis & Fernando would indicate nationality to me.

I don't think I feel conflict in relation to western and European ways of thinking.

I'm not into sports. Baseball doesn't mean anything to me.

The no. 4 indicates completion, wholeness. Perhaps the 2 identities complete a whole one. Ah, Ah. Maybe it's OK to have 2 identities! I hope I AM thinking differntly about life!

I particularly liked your suggestion that it is time to once again find and "trust my noble Self" Very good. Thank you!

Also I agree with your other suggestion that I'm no longer buying into the religion I was brought up into. I recently embarked on a new spiritual path (see my dream "the river Nile")

I'm in general trusting of others and sometimes I HAVE been tricked!

And finally, I have always been trying to find the center of my being.

You have been very helpful. Please continue, this is very exciting!

Thanks a bunch, Jazzed

Shooting Star

13:13 06/05/2001 

You are more than welcome Jazzed, my pleasure. I can feel the buzz in your Jazz from here.

I will look at your other dream later but for now I will stick to this one and would just like to say WELL DONE, big round of applause happening here accompanied by a huge smile.

Having read your post I need to ask why are you feeling limited in what you can do?

What are you covering up?

Why do you feel you need to ask permission from anyone to do what you want?

In your dream you felt you had more in your purse than you normally carry, any links there for you? You also say you have more freedom now to do what you want.

Whilst baseball means nothing to you if you split the words you get:-

Base which for me is a foundation, what does base mean to you?

Ball is also circular as in whole and used in many games, is there some sort of game you are perhaps playing with yourself or others that has it's (bases) basis in the past?

Is it possible the two identities are showing you the care free easy gay Dennis way of thinking and the more serious intellectual Fernando way of thinking?

The external circumstances we find ourselves in in life are ultimately created by our inner way of thinking, believing, being etc., they are always a reflection of what is going on inside for us - you say you have often been tricked - is there something you are tricking yourself into believing?

Have fun.

Shooting Star

17:42 06/05/2001 

Oh and latestly the coupons - what do they represent to you?

Shooting Star

19:36 06/05/2001 

Oh and very lastly for now, sweet dreams to you also.

jazzed

00:02 07/05/2001 

Why do I feel limited... well, let's see: I don't always have the money, the time, the talent, the ambition, the whatever, to do things. I suppose the limitations are self imposed and only 'a belief'.

I was speaking in general about smoke being a screen for covering up. In the dream, as in real life, smokers were segregated to a particular area, with all their baggage; Ah, Ah, smoking is a baggage. By the way I'm in the process of quitting.

Yes, base would be a foundation. A baseball hat doesn't really go with the image of a professor but one could 'wear differents hats'

I seldom use coupons. They represent fake money. They were in a cigarette case, remember? There must be a connection here but I can't quite get it.

Also I wanted to add that my walking/driving, searching and not finding my way is a recurrent theme in my dreams; has been for years. I often dream I have to go "back" to a place I can't find. Spiritually, I have always been searching. Trying to understand my dreams is also a search.

Thank you, dear friend, for this opportunity to explore my feelings and inner being.

Love, Jazzed

Shooting Star

01:38 07/05/2001 

Hi Jazzed,

I'm just going to throw some things out that are coming to mind.

Coupons = Fake money, false, something not true or real, your money represents your security and your freedom does it not? Are you possibly feeling a false sense of freedom and security over something?

Cigarette "case" - possibly justification for the "case" of smoking?????

In this part of the dream where the cigarette case appears there was also something you felt didn't really belong to you, a wallet from memory, that you didn't want to bring out into the open but you intended to keep it. It had been found in a compartment, - a compartment, just like a "case" can be something where we store things that can be hidden. Is there part of yourself you feel is hidden that you want to hang onto and not allow out????

Does the basis of your smoking go back to a hidden family issue???

You mention smokers being segregated with their baggage at the beginning of the dream and you were with your family and you spoke of having to go into a corner - are you feeling cornered, no room to move, in relation to something???

You also mentioned a raised square concrete platform - something very solid that is the basis/foundation of belief causing the addiction perhaps or the feeling of segregation???

Do you feel you are wearing different hats in relation to something??? i.e. what you want to do, what you think you have to do, or what you are actually doing?

Hats cover up/protect the head from which all thought eminates. Smoke covers up also - any link there????

I can fully relate to your spiritual and understanding dreams search. Mine in relation to both began 9 years ago and the only place I found truth in relation to my spirituality and who I truly am was by working with my dreams.

At first I thought they were separate things I was searching to find and understand but gradually as I worked with my dreams I found much to my amazement that by understanding my dreams I was also finding the truth of my spiritual nature.

I studied all I could find on religions and at the basis of all there were a few common threads- love was the key, the truth lies within - as do all the answers and we are connected to all that we see. Dreams were also constantly referred to in texts I studied.

I also began to see that the majority of religions were man made attempts to take the power away from the people. To make them think that they needed an intermediary between them and God and that most religions had money and control as their basis.

Yet God had supposedly made man in his own image and was contained within all things and everywhere. I never bought the image or belief that when I died I would land up in a place called "heaven" or that there was a "hell". For me when I looked around the only hell I could see was on Earth with all the wars, desecration and abuse. I had faced my own mortality more than once and never once landed up looking at any pearly gates.

I questioned why God necessarily had to be constantly referred to as male. I couldn't understand how we could all be connected and I discovered that at one point in 683 or 638 after it had supposedly been written the Bible had been re-written to exclude all mention of reincarnation. If God was everywhere and within all things why then did we have to go into a building to experience "his" presence. I also couldn't stand the hypocrisy I witnessed as a child of people treating others with abuse during the week and then going to Mass on bended knee for 1 hour a week and coming out to behave in the same way. None of it made any sense.

By studying indigenous cultures and spending time in nature I found and felt a truth that no religion could ever give me and I never dreamed (excuse the pun) that by studying all the symbols that were appearing in my dreams and then in my daily life and that by learning to understand my dreams I would uncover all I have.

It's always a pleasure for me to assist others in understanding their dreams Jazzed and it is you, not me, who has given yourself the opportunity to explore your Self. Many find the challenge too daunting and prefer to stay in denial of the truth their dreams and daily life which is a reflection of their inner life are clearly showing them, which is fine because you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink and I know all I can ever do is throw out questions and hopefully plant a few seeds along the way and that each is responsible for their own growth.

There is a saying "When the student is ready the teacher will appear" and we are all students and teachers. Your dream in many ways is a reflection for me of an issue I am dealing with at present and whilst I am throwing questions at you I am also asking them of myself.

I will be interested to see what our mutual probing comes up with for both of us, not only in relation to this particular dream but others you may choose to share in the future.

Take care and my love to you also.

Shooting Star

06:39 07/05/2001 

Jazzed I have had a look at your Nile River dream and made some comments and asked some questions in relation to it.

Hope you find what I have said useful.

Have a nice day.

jazzed

12:28 07/05/2001 

Hi Shooting Star,

You have been very helpful and I can relate to a lot of what you have said. In regards to spirituality and God, what a beautiful view you posted! I share your beliefs.

Thank you also for your insights about "The Nile Dream"

You have given me a lot to think about and reflect upon. Right now I can't really come up with any conclusions. All your comments are very good. A dream may mean many things, on many levels and they're all equality valid.

Love & Joy J

Shooting Star

13:55 07/05/2001 

For me there really are no conclusions Jazzed seems to me the more answers we get the more questions there are.

Happy pondering and sweet dreams.

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Jane Teresa Anderson

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