Author

Subject: Self Defence

Tonick

18:18 15/07/2000 

I am being attacked by a huge, monstrous man who grabs me in a bear hug from behind.

I struggle as much as I can but I am in such stress that I can't think of any of my karate moves to fight him off. The strange thing is he doesn't do anything else except stand and hold me, but I just cannot release myself from his grasp.

This is a recurring dream.

Note:

I took up karate about three years ago to improve not only in self-defence but also in fitness, strength, flexibility and self confidence. I never had dreams like this before my taking up karate. Is it just that I am becoming paranoid about my personal safety?

Dream edited for easier reading - JT, 2005

Carole

01:25 16/07/2000 

Dear Tonick

I found your dream intriguing, especially the part about the huge man giving your a bear hug. If I let my imagination loose, I can see a kind of 'before' and 'after' image of you. With the help of your karate, you have been able to develop your strength, flexibility and self-confidence.

However, the huge man coming from behind (from your past), gives me an idea that you were different before your karate course - the words powerless and helpless come to my mind (because that's how I would feel if I were being given a bear hug from an enormous man), but you know yourself better than anyone.

I'm just wondering whether this huge man represents the fear which held you in its grip when you weren't as strong, self-confident and flexible as you are now. It may be just a memory bubble from the past - that old feeling coming back.

However, you know you are not Tonick of the past, you are different today and would deal with things differently.

Just one other thought: the man may represent an authority figure when you were small (as he is so huge)who prevented you from moving forward.

Good luck with the karate!

Jane Anderson

10:27 16/07/2000 

Hi Tonick,

Glad you enjoyed the Breakfast ..

Carole has given you great insight on this one. I'd just like to add more of an overall concept for you to consider:

When we are ready to change an attitude within ourselves we are also ready to see what was previously holding us back from that development.

You chose to take up karate to develop your self confidence. So there must have come a point in your life where you were ready to state not only that you lacked the amount of self confidence you desired but also that your lesser self confidence had been a problem for you.

When we have a 'problem' we usually block ourselves from seeing its full extent. We may say, "I lack the self confidence to do that ..", but we rarely go on to say, "When I was small, I was teased for .... and that has held me back .." (or whatever the conditioning was).

In fact we often consciously deny the significance of attitude-shaping events in our lives.

So, the moment you decide, "I'm ready to develop more self confidence now", your unconscious is jubilant: "Great, okay, unblock everything, send up the forgotten hurts and experiences, release the demons which have been sent into hiding. Let's get rid of all this stuff that's been kept down here, drowning the self confidence..."

And so the 'demons' (or bear-hugging men) come up in your dreams so that you can acknowledge the past and let it go.

At this stage, unable to recall your karate moves in your dream, you are, as Carole says, coming to terms with the past conflicts ... stage one is to acknowledge and FEEL (which you are doing in these dreams). Stage 2 is to release.

You may find you end up delivering a karate move to release yourself from this dream character, or you may find that you simply release him or that he no longer appears.

Again, adding to Carole's suggestions concerning the past and possibly childhood:

The bear hug may be a dream pun on what you can 'bear' or not bear.

The bear hug may represent some kind of feeling from childhood of clinging .. being held back by people wanting to hang on to you and hold you back ..

In terms of symbolism for today, a man in a dream often represents your 'outer world' (the world of work, logic, intellect ... left brain etc). It may well be that you have felt held back by some of these aspects. However you also say that he does "nothing ..": has there been a sense in which you have felt that "nothing is happening" or you occasionally "do nothing" ... which is related to issues of self confidence?

As in all dream work, you know you are making progress when you find yourself facing the monsters ... but take heart and know that in their revelation they are soon gone.

Jane Anderson

tonick

12:25 16/07/2000 

Thanks so much Carole and Jane. Your in depth reading of my little dream gave me so much insight into what it all meant. I think now I can overcome this "Bear Hugging Man in my next dream, as I think I know now what he represents. Thanks once again, and I will certainly be back with some more qu