Hi photorho,
We'll look at your dream from two angles, both of which are probably valid in parallel. I have been asked this kind of question before so while you're correct in saying that sex dreams are normal, this kind of situation is also fairly common.
Angle One:
Looking at the symbolism of sex dreams:
Sex is a union, sometimes a good one and sometimes not so good. In dreams, to stay general, sex which feels good is symbolically about union and integration of certain characteristics or perceptions into your life which feel good. Dream sex which is not so good generally symbolises a waking life situation in which you may be integrating (taking into your life, your self, your attitude) characteristics or perceptions which do not feel so good, which may cause fear for you or which may be simply damaging.
When considering the symbolism of sex dreams there are many things to take into consideration. One is to ask yourself questions about the dream sex partner. What kind of person was he? What were his views, his attitudes, his emotions, his approach to life (do you imagine)? Could you be questioning integrating these traits into your own waking life self?
For example, you have said this man wasn't someone you'd ever be attracted to (why?) .. so he may represent some quite opposite approaches to life from those you are accustomed to. He was upset to discover you were married. Why? Did this display his loyalty? Or was it a feeling he'd been drawn into something without being fully informed (cheated?)? Or what? Make your own list and then consider why these might have been issues for you at the time of the dream.
As there was conflict for you after the dream sex, then symbolically this would suggest that although you do in fact have some 'unbridled passion' about whatever this man represents, you fear the outcome - you have conflict. You want to integrate and change in some way but at the same time you don't want to lose your familiar way of life.
Your fearful thought was the thought of losing your daughter - not of losing your husband. In dreams the daughter can sometimes symbolise a younger aspect of yourself: the girl often being the creative, intuitional, emotional, nurturing, spiritual aspects of yourself. However also consider what your daughter represents to you in your life. Why would you be fearful of losing what she represents to you? (i.e. look at the symbolism of WHAT you fear losing rather than WHO you fear losing.)
Angle Two:
Repression and Expression:
It is also true of dreams that they often release strong emotions and feelings that we do not allow ourselves to express in our waking lives. Ideally we live between extremes, always finding a balance between opposite extremes: like the Chinese 'Middle Way': the Tao. Our dreams are consistent with this Tao theme, often reflecting our extremes and 'suggesting' resolutions of balance.
Your unbridled passion in your dream could be read as your emotions about a sex life unhampered by conditions of performance (as you said, hard work). Your attention to the work of sex has possibly meant that you've held back the unbridled expressions. This is a huge subject of course .. and not one to labour the solutions here. But, in general, it may be that in addition to the symbolic meaning of your dream, your dream is also releasing the emotions/drive which you repress for reasons of performance/work in your waking sex life.
Could it be that issues of work, performance, pleasing, holding back and so on are similar to the symbolic meanings you associate with this particular dream man?
Hope this is a good starting point for you photorho.
Others may add examples from their own dreaming lives here for you, or make more suggestions. I hope so.
Jane Anderson |
