Author

Subject: reoccurring dream

jason

20:31 14/12/1999 

In this recurring dream I am a young child with a girl friend to whom a have a connection unlike any other.

This girl is from a troubled family where the father is an alcoholic and the mother is unable to stand up to his abuses due her fear of him.

In the dream I see myself in situations where people (mostly kids of the same age) are teasing this girl and I stand up for her with a ferocity I have very rarely expressed.

In the dream I see the two of us in many different situations, playing at home, at school, sneaking out to see her and so on which I think is to clarify the strength of our connection.

The end of the dream finds me being called to the school nurses’ office where this girl is. I walk in and she's crying. She comes running over to me and hugs me. When I ask her what's wrong, she tells me that she's bleeding and she doesn't want to show the nurse. So I tell the nurse to call my mother to come to the school.

When my mother has a look, what she finds is very disturbing and she starts crying.

After this I am back at home asking my parents all kinds of questions in order to find out what was going on with my friend, but I can't get an answer that satisfies my curiosity. Eventually I am told that I won’t be seeing my friend again. At that point I become overwhelmed with a sense of panic and attempt to run out the front door to be with her, but I am restrained by my father and not let out.

Later that night after I have gone to bed, I get up and sneak out and go to her. I get to her house and tap on her window. She answers and tells me that some people were at her house and they said that they were going to take her away, but she wasn't going to go because she didn't want to be away from me, her best friend.

Then I found myself crying my eyes out because they had taken her away. My father got exceedingly annoyed and started belting me and telling me never to mention her again and to forget about her altogether. In is own words he said, "This hurts me more than it hurts you, but it's for your own sake that I'm hitting you until you can't remember .... (name of girl)”.

Then I see myself in present day sitting on a copper’s log fence when a girl comes up to me to ask me something. When she sees me she freezes and when I look into her eyes all the memories of her come flooding back, and the shock of remembering all this after so many years nearly knocks me over.

The beginning of the dream takes place when I am around four or five years old.

Dream edited for easier reading - JT, 2005

Lynn

15:04 15/12/1999 

Hang on Jason,

We're not ignoring you. This seems an important dream and we're working on it. Please check back.

Jane Anderson

22:55 15/12/1999 

Hello Jason,

Your dream is a deep cry from the heart at many levels and has already sparked some comments over in the members area of this site. I'd like to offer some starting points to direct your thinking and to help you along the path of uncovering the meaning of your dream.

It's complex: if I were to interpret this dream thoroughly I'd be sending you four or five A4 pages. What I'm doing here is starting the ball rolling and I know others will be coming in with their thoughts and help too.

Recurring dreams reflect recurring themes in our lives: either recurring conflicts or, more commonly, recurring 'blocks', where we keep coming so far along a path and hitting a barrier. Generally recurring dreams reflect issues or blocks which have come up for us in the 24-48 hours prior to the dream. By watching the pattern of recurrence of your dream you may start to clue in to the waking life issue the dream is reflecting.

When crying occurs in a dream and when a deep sense of sadness and /or grief surges, (as it does at several points in yours), the dream is often trying to help the dreamer deal with and release an old grief or hurt. Commonly this occurs following a death which was not fully grieved in the past, but yours appears to relate back to something that happened for you when you were four or five years old.

Your starting point in your dream is this age. This is a dream technique, especially in long-term recurring dreams. The dream is saying "okay, let's go back to the origin of this problem and that was when you were four or five". Your dream confirms this by bringing you up to your present age by the end of the dream as if to say, "and so, this issue is still affecting you today". I should say that dreaming of being 4-5 can also symbolise "something that's been in your life for 4-5 years", but if you've had this same dream for years, then this is less likely.)

Notice in your dream that the women are hurt (the little girl and her abused mother) while the men are abusive (her father and your dream father). You are hurt on behalf of the little girl and the nurse comes into the dream in an attempt to reveal the hurt and heal the issue.

Nurses often come into dreams to symbolise your own healing: in this dream to look at healing your deeply-hidden sadness and grief. (You may be quite unaware of this grief, consciously. It may be hidden too deeply. Four year olds, of course, may react with huge grief to an event or action which an adult might dismiss. You may have been hiding something frightening to a little child, but quite manageable to an adult, which is nevertheless acting as a deeply-held well of unexpressed grief which is obstructing some aspect of your present-day progress.)

Bleeding, though a frightening image in a dream, can also be a healing image. Blood can be seen as the life-force of the body, and it is often the case that when blood flows in a dream some aspect of the dreamer's own life-force has just been released. As the little girl had been in the presence of the nurse when the bleeding was discovered, it is likely that each time you dream this dream a little extra life-force is freed to flow within you with every dream tear shed by the little girl.

Each person in a dream usually (say 99% of the time) symbolises an aspect of the dreamer. Assuming your recurring dream is symbolic in this way, then the nurse is the part of yourself which wishes to heal. The little girl is the part of yourself that is known as "Yin" to the chinese.

Your "Yin" qualities are your emotions, creativity, intuition, nurturing, ability to receive, spirituality: in short, your "inner world".

It is likley that at around 4 - 5 years old something happened to you which deeply hurt your "Yin" aspects. Someone may have belittled you for your creativity or for your emotional empathy, for example. Were you brought up to "be a man" - "little boys don't cry" etc? Such admonitions can cause deep hurt to a boy's inner world. This kind of stuff can compound over the years.

The little girl is from a "troubled family" where the mother is also "abused" and fearful. Dreams magnify to get the message across: it is likely that the hurt "Yin" aspects of Jason stem from a feeling of being troubled, abused and fearful.

All of this means the men in the dream are also aspects of yourself. By contrast to the "Yin", men can represent "Yang": intellect, assertiveness, rationality, competition, action - generally our "outer world".

Ideally we would all have balanced Yin and Yang, no matter whether we are male or female.

It is likely that the men in your dream symbolise the part of yourself that holds your "Yin" in check. It could be argued by your hurting Yin self that it is being abused by your tough Yang self.

The original hurt may have involved teasing, as this is the way the drama plays in your dream. As you say, you speak with a veracity rarely expressed. This suggests again that you have learned to hold back an aspect of your emotional expression - and your unconscious is venting this through the dream. Dreams help us to find balance.

Your mother (representing perhaps the nurturing aspects of Jason?) cries too: more expressed grief from Yin and especially from the part of yourself which longs to cradle and care for you. The little girl hugs you: this hurt part of yourself is reaching out and longing to be embraced back into wholeness: to become recognised, acknowledged and a fully accpeted part of Jason again.

I'm missing out huge chunks here, and no doubt others will look at these as well as offering alternative perceptions to mine, all of which will enrich you and help you to discover what feels right to you.

Towards the end of the dream you find yourself sitting on a fence. (What does a coppers log fence mean to you?) We often find ourselves at fences or walls in our dreams when we are 'stuck' at boundaries in our waking life: when we have reached the limits we have set for ourselves and need to resolve something in order to expand beyond the obstacle. Moreso we find ourselves sitting on dream fences frequently when we are "sitting in the fence" metaphorically: unable to make a decision about something.

The girl who approaches you is most likely still your Yin: still seeking acceptance and absorption. She (you) is frozen (by fear?). Looking someone deeply in the eyes in a dream often symbolises looking deeply into your self: into your very soul, into your "I's". She is , perhaps, the shock you're slowly acknowledging, bit by bit, dream by dream, until the old hurt/grief/shock is all released and tears flow as you absorb these 'forgotten' aspects of your little 4 year old self back into your adult life.

Dreams can reflect or replay repressed memories ... but the 99% scenario is more likely to be symbolic.

Hope this helps and that others will offer their pieces for your jigsaw puzzle too.

Before signing off, I'd just like to apologise for not replying to everyone on the forum (and rarely in such depth: that is done through the Interpretation Service: only to greater depth than this). The forum is for everyone: I am more the host coming in occasionally to welcome you all and to see that things are going along well. I do read everything posted though. Often I reply to dreams where I can communicate something which I feel is of application and benefit to everyone.

I'll move over now to make space for others.

Hope this helps you Jason.

Many Blessings.

Jane Anderson

jason

19:21 18/12/1999 

Many, many thanks to Jane Anderson for a most insightful interpretation, from which I have gained much clarity into and within the mechanics of my mind and spirit, and to Lynn, for the contact, and time taken.

May all that is great come your way.

Angela

04:50 19/12/1999 

Hi Jason.

Isn't she great?! Jane has been a tremendous help to me in the past too.

I was quite struck by your dream, as were some others from the member's forum. How heavy is the weight of transition and conquering past conditioning! It seems to burden us all.

Not that I could imagine I would have much to add to Jane's already wonderful and thorough interpretation, but I'll tell you where I felt the most intensely:

"... and keep hitting you until you forget..."

I could almost feel myself cheering when the girl reappeared to you sitting on the fence. What you have been forced to suppress (the tenderness, the pain, the feelings if you will) for all these years, has come back, giving you an opportunity to make yourself whole and stop 'forgetting'.

Our psyches have a tremendous ability to build blocks and protectors around bad memories (no matter how seemingly insignificant and, conversely, no matter how gigantic). It seems your mind has used people from your life to represent all the feelings inside an event (or a series of) in your life. And now, so many years later, it seems that you are ready to be faced with this memory. (That it is recurring is only testament to this.)

It is my wish for you that you re-unite with the young girl you so longed to be with as a young boy. You may be surprised at how quickly she catches up with you in age... It is such a complex blend of happiness and sadness.

All the very best with your integration.

Angela.

jason

00:11 20/12/1999 

Message to Angela;- Truthes you hit, so much like the striking of a chord on a guitar, ring home so true. As you say;- What you have been forced to supress for all these years, has come back, giving you an opportunity to make yourself whole, and not forgetting. I,for the latter part of my life, have found myself struggling for something I allways thought was missing, and the harder I push, the more walls I find stand up against me. As I walk forward in search of what is meant to be whole and natural in my life, I come across blocks in all shapes and forms, and now with the genorous guide from beautiful people such as yourself and Jane, I find myself gathering a clarity to which I have not before experienced, I feel this opportunity is a gift, and I will endevour to persue this in many facets untill I find what is right. Even though you may feel that you could not ad much more to what Jane has allready offered, I would still be most grateful for anything you may have to offer.

With Kindest regards, and many thanks

May all things that are great come your way, and may all that is light touch your heart with a comfort known only to the highest form.

Jason

Libra Lynn

19:05 21/12/1999 

Hi Jason,

I think Jane and Angela are quite right here. I've waited a bit to reply in hopes you've had time to absorb some of what they've said.

You have a wonderful perspective that not everyone has, that is to look upon pain, confusion, and "roadblocks" as an opportunity rather than an obstacle. I can tell you from personal experience that this is the attitue that will see you through the roughest times.

I think we all were a bit hesitant at first to reply to your dream. Why? Well, on the member's forum, a few of us had been discussing abuse issues and how they surfaced in our dreams. I, myself, was a victim of sexual abuse as a child and was haunted by nightmares of a young girl being chased and victimized. Also dreamed of abusive men.

I don't mean to say that this is what happened to you. It just seemed like one of the possibilities from your dream. There are many types of abuse- physical, mental, emotional. We are not strangers to any of them here.

Please Jason, keep us informed of your progress if you are comfortable. We are very supportive. Consider joining the member's forum for more privacy.

Lynn

jason

21:43 21/12/1999 

Lynn,

Thanks for your reply. I will certainly endevour to join the members forum, as I am truly delighted (and grateful) with the response I have had and the support given with careful fore-thought.

Many heartfelt thanks

Jason

PS I (look forward to and) hope correspond more with you, and Angela, and even Jane if I should be so blessed.

Jason

21:58 21/12/1999 

It's with great regret that I cannot afford to join as a full member, but I will work towards saving enough to make it possible. In the mean time, I would like to thank, most humbly, all that offered any input into the interperating of my recurring dream. I am only saddened that I cannot offer anymore in return than my best wishes to all.

Peace, Love and Harmony.

Jason

angelaem

04:38 22/12/1999 

Jason,

You offer more than you know by the simple giving of your dream.

Please feel free to share anyway. We are always checking in on all the forums. You never know who may pick up on something that others may miss. And the process of working through a dream can contain quite an addictive jolt of revelation. I have done it many a time on this forum and have always been pleased and enlightened for it.

We are still thinking of you as you work through this one. Ask questions. Give us your thoughts and any background you are comfortable sharing. And we will keep feeding you with whatever comes to mind.

I must say that I agree with Lynn about how wonderfully you are approaching your 'roadblocks'. I can see such an opportunity for clarity for you too.

It can be very tough to be open to your own wounds, but what a reward at the end of it all... though it never does quite end... :) Naw, just kidding. Sometimes we slip into our old patterning, but this time, at least, we recognize it!

I'd enjoy further correspondence Jason. Maybe you'll have some thoughts to offer on my future dreams. I'd love to hear them. Thank you for what you said after my posting to you. It was really nice.

Angela.

Jane Anderson

17:33 24/12/1999 

Hello again Jason,

You've contributed far more than you'll ever know.

Many, many people read these forums, and there is much in your dream and in the loving responses from Lynn and Angela which touches upon the dreams of those who travel through this site. Your quest has been a blessing for silent dreamers too.

Thank you. Jane Anderson

lizzie

05:50 30/07/2003 

Jane,

i'm new here but i hope you can help me with this reccuring dream i've been having.

I am standing in a carpark of a school i used to go to, and i am standing close toghether facing a man i know. His name is Ollie, and we have been friends for a long time. I have feelings for him, and i don't mind being this close with him atall, but then next to us in the same situation is my partener, Max, who i love very much. He is with another girl but i look away and look back at Ollie.

We talk, but i can never remember what about. We kiss a couple of times, and i keep looking at his face. I can't seem to stop looking at his eyes.

Eventually, my best friend Karis and her partener Ross appear and walk in on me and Ollie. We decide to get a bus home, but none of us have any money. So we walk into the nearest town and start busking. I start singing a song that is slow and sounds very sad, and i know i've heard it before. After a while, all of my ex-lovers start walking past and throwing money into a violin case that is in front of me. Then they all dissappear, and i am alone. I look around and call out but the street is dark and desolate, and it starts to rain. I pick up the violin lying on the ground and play the same tune i've been singing. Which is odd because i can't play the violin.

This dream always stops here but it is so vivd i could swear it was real life. Please help me, this is bothering me so much and i can't stop dreaming it.

Lizzie