Author

Subject: Cheating Boyfriend

Tami

12:29 12/11/1999 

I'm out with many friends in a bar/party and it is night time. I feel very close to them all even though I know none of them in real life. One of the friends approaches me with a picture of my boyfriend with his arm around another girl.

The girl is very pretty, but her back is turned as his is in the picture. She was wearing a peach colored blouse with brown jeans. His arm was on the small of her back. He was wearing black jeans and a white shirt, his common outfit in reality.

I ask my friend what is going on in this picture and he very sincerely tells me that my boyfriend is cheating on me.

My friends consist of three men and a woman. All the men and women are attractive and very kind. I am Caucasian in real life and in the dream, two of the men are black, one is Caucasian, and the woman is Milano.

The friend then continues to tell me that this has been going on for some time and they all knew about it but were arguing amongst themselves on whether or not it was the right thing to do to tell me.

I look at the other three and they are looking at the floor, nodding their heads in agreement with what was said. I am shocked and dismayed. My boyfriend’s loyalty has never been in question before in our relationship, if anything in real life, it was the one thing I was always sure of through all our other problems.

I then notice my boyfriend arriving at the bar and go to him. The friends and I were outside the entrance of the bar and I had to go down steps to greet my boyfriend as he was getting out of his car and the valet was taking his keys.

I confront him and his response was something like, "Of course I'm cheating on you, what did you expect? I've been in another relationship for about 7 months and am very happy."

He shrugged off the cheating issue and me as though we didn't matter a bit, yet just that morning in the dream I am remember him kissing me good-bye and telling me he loves me as he always does. I then proceed to tell him it is over and go back to my friends.

They are very supportive. I then start discussing things like how I am going to go about getting my things, moving out, and even some possibilities for revenge. My friends reassure me that they will help in the moving and anything that they can.

We then, not seriously, talk about how to crash his hard drive with an Assembly virus since the one thing he does love is the computer.

Note:

We've been living together for over two years and sharing finances and everything. There is one big problem in the relationship in that we don't make love nearly as much as we used to. It's an occasional thing about once every two months now.

Dream edited for easier reading - JT, 2005

Jane Anderson

11:07 15/11/1999 

Hi Tami and welcome to the forum!

Your dream is complex and has many layers of meaning. I'd just like to mention some pointers for you:

What kind of person would wear a peach coloured blouse and brown jeans? How would you describe her personality or approach to life?

Your answer to the above question may describe a part of yourself which is 'turning its back on' something in your life (which may or may not be the problem you mention.)

Everyone in a dream can be seen as representing an aspect of the dreamer and the ultimate 'goal' of dreamwork is to recognise and unite these various aspects in a way which makes sense and helps explain why life is the way it is. Following that new understanding, the dreamer can grow and move on. Notice in your dream you were talking of moving on at the end.

The friends are the aspects of yourself that are in touch with the reality of the problem (the black skin colour may symbolise the unconscious). Their (your) insight is that 'cheating' is going on: the thing is, with dream interpretation, to ask yourself in which ways YOU might be cheating yourself (deceiving yourself), rather than necessarily interpreting the dream insight literally.

It may be, for example, that you are deceiving yourself that the problem is not upsetting (turning your back on the issue).

I wondered about the 'hard drive': could this be the dream's way of saying you are 'driving too hard' (about something) and this is potentially disruptive to harmony (virus disrupts assembly)? Are you driving yourself too hard about something and, in so doing, losing touch with inner harmony?

Could the 'bar' symbolise something obstructing (barring) your progress? Is your loyalty (not to your boyfriend, but to something else in your life, or to yourself) preventing you from seeing clearly?

What change did YOU make in your life 7 months ago (or seven weeks ago, or in the 7th month (July)? Or what issue came up for you when you were 7 years old: an issue which may have set a pattern which is reverberating in your life now?

We can and do have dreams which provide insight about our relationships or about other people in a literal way, so it is indeed possible that your dream is helping you to come to terms with an actual cheating boyfriend. You will know as you explore this dream more deeply.

Either way this dream has potential for you to 'move on' in a positive way in your life in some self-understanding sense.

There is much more in the dream - maybe others can comment on these ..

Hope these thoughts open the dream's meaning for you Tami.

Jane Anderson

Tami

11:47 22/11/1999 

Dear Jane,

Thank you so much for your insight into this dream. I've since thought about things quite a bit and have realized that the mainstay of the meaning was that I was cheating not only myself but my boyfriend out of a loving relationship by driving myself too hard at work. I think the bar in the dream related to this as well.

After this dream I looked at him sideways for about two days and then had an Apocalypse dream, that coupled with this one, brought me to that conclusion. I've input the Apocalypse dream into the forum for comments as well.

As for the girl in the peach colored blouse or the number seven, I'm still trying to figure those out and really don't have too much of a clue.

The skin color of my friends didn't seem to represent anything significant for me. In reality, I have quite an array of foreign nationalities, African Americans, and Hispanics for friends. I pointed it out in the dream because I wasn't sure if a significance could be interpreted by anyone commenting on the dream.

Thank you again for your insight.

Tami