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dream of journey, drive, lunch, store, greeting cards, missing, wait, angry, husband, cheat (keywords)

Ask Jane Teresa about the most important basic meaning of your dream

Dream Forum Archive

These dreams are selected from our Public Dream Forum (1998 - 2003). Jane Teresa's professional interpretations were added later.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Author

Subject: Husband cheating

Lynn

20:28 11/10/1999 

I was on a driving trip with my husband and brother-in-law. We stopped for lunch, and I became distracted in the store buying two greeting cards.

All of the clerks had disappeared. Stupidly, instead of leaving, I waited.

When the clerks came back, I was angry and yelled at them, eventually not buying either card.

I stormed out to the van and discovered my husband was there with an ex-girlfriend, holding hands. I was angry, but decided to go along on the trip anyway, knowing he would eventually become disillusioned with her and come back to me.

We went to a hotel - all four of us. Because my husband was rooming with his new girlfriend, I stayed in a room upstairs with his brother (separate beds). I was laughing because I watched my husband's girlfriend carry in loads and loads of stuff which he had to carry up the stairs (their room was on the floor below mine). She was really superficial and I could see that he was already tiring of it.

Note:

I've dreamed for the past two nights of my husband was cheating on me.

Dream edited for easier reading - JT, 2005.

2009

Jane Teresa's View

Jane Teresa Anderson

Overview Interpretation & Dream Alchemy Practice suggestion


INTERPRETATION

I wonder what kind of greeting cards you were buying. Did they have deep and meaningful messages or were they superficial? What kind of cards do you normally buy and send? What are your thoughts and feelings about sending and receiving greeting cards? Do you value every card you send or receive, or do you sometimes feel a sense of duty behind sending cards on certain dates?

Lynn, from other dreams you’ve posted to the forum, I know you’re an artist. As an artist, how do you feel about greeting cards? How do you feel about doing commercial art such as artwork for greeting cards? How much of your own work is commercial, and how much is personal or for exhibition?

This is an important key to understanding your dream. Right at the end of your dream you have a good laugh at your husband toiling away and tiring from the girlfriend’s superficiality. See the connection? I’ll explain:

Remember, everyone in a dream represents something about you, the dreamer. So your husband who is cheating in the dream is not, of course, your loyal and lovely actual husband, but a symbol of some part of yourself that that is cheating on you – or so it seems. Have you been toiling away over something you see as superficial (and commercial), and are you tiring of it?

When you laugh in a dream it’s usually because you’ve reached a point where you suddenly see the funny side of something you’ve been stressing about in your waking life. A good dream giggle is a sign of a change in the way you see life, a breakthrough, a release of an old pattern or belief.

Of course the ex-girlfriend in your dream also represents something about you. She represents something superficial that has weighed you down, and now, in your dream, you’re seeing the funny side of this. What a release! What a relief! So there’s an end to all that toiling over loads of superficial stuff, hey?

Have you been doing or contemplating doing commercial art that you see as superficial – like greeting cards? Has the work itself weighed you down, or have your inner conflicts about doing art that you judge as superficial weighed you down?

‘Superficial’ is in the eye of the beholder. So is ‘deep and meaningful’. What’s superficial to you may be meaningful to someone else, just as you may see a particular greeting card as superficial and yet that same card, sent to the right person from the right person, might strike a meaningful and perhaps life-changing chord.

A card that you judge as ‘deep and meaningful’ might be too clever, too subtle, for many people, its message lost on delivery.

The same applies to art. Have you been struggling with these kinds of issues? Or have you been working for money (commercial art) instead of for love of art?

Either way, this is your breakthrough dream!

So how does the cheating and the anger work in? Have you felt that you’ve been cheating on yourself, that you’ve betrayed your passion? In the dream, the cheating husband is on the verge of learning his lesson – he’s tiring of toiling over the superficial. Do you feel you’ve been cheating on yourself, cheating on your passion for art by toiling away over what you see as superficial commercial art? Or, perhaps more pertinently, do you feel you’ve been cheating on your passion for art by working hard for what you see as ‘superficial’ money and things? When you describe the ex-girlfriend in the dream as “really superficial”, do you mean that she was interested in ‘superficial’ money and things?

So you might like to explore your feelings and beliefs about superficiality, money and things, as well as about art.

There's a message in each dream. Don't let your message go unread! It’s awful to discover, in hindsight, that you’ve worked so hard, seemingly for nothing. It’s normal to feel angry when you realise this. That’s why anger features in your dream. In breaking through the old pattern of toiling for what you see as superficial and commercial, in releasing yourself from ‘cheating on yourself’, you release all the pent-up anger around that and laugh it away. You transform the energy of anger into the energy of laughter. What was heavy becomes light (and what was loads of heavy stuff, in the dream, is suddenly as light as laughter). The drama has dissipated and you are free to be true to yourself (rather than to cheat on yourself AND suffer from your anger about this too).

Notice the repeat of anger in your dream. First you were angry with the clerks then you were angry with the cheating husband. Dreams often feature motifs (repeating themes). A motif is the dream’s way of expressing the same issue in different ways. Do you see a clerking job as superficial and commercial? Have you worked as a clerk to earn money? Did this make you angry? Did it feel like cheating on yourself by toiling hard at something you saw as superficial? This is why your anger spilled over from the clerks to the cheating husband in the dream.

Your brother-in-law and your husband are two brothers. Your dream also featured two greeting cards. And you’ve dreamed for the past two nights of your husband cheating on you. Your dream may have introduced the two for emphasis, but my feeling is that there are two recent instances where you’ve questioned superficiality.

At the start of your dream you’re on a road trip. Interpreted, this refers to a situation where you see yourself as being on a journey, heading somewhere. You stop for lunch. Interpreted, this suggests you’re ready for some rewards or sustenance. But you get distracted by ‘buying’ (into?) something superficial/commercial, or distracted by the question of superficiality/meaningfulness. And you wait and you judge yourself as stupid for not leaving. Can you recognise this pattern in your waking life in the day or two before your dream?

What was the commercial (superficial?) matter that distracted you from your path towards sustenance yet got you nowhere other than waiting and angry and waiting some more? Well, actually it did get you somewhere, as your dream showed. It got you to the point of recognising that you were cheating on yourself, it got you to releasing your anger, and it got you to transforming that anger into laughter, seeing the funny side, rising above it (you were in the room above in the dream). As you saw in the dream, the only reward of cheating yourself is disillusionment down the track, and a final return to your senses and your authenticity.


DREAM ALCHEMY PRACTICE

You have already transformed your old anger into the lightness of seeing the funny side of your old ways. This process occurred in your dream. You can use dream alchemy to cement this and accelerate all the good outcomes, as well as to bring any further details into consciousness. As you are an artist, create a greeting card on the theme of seeing the funny side of your old drama. Allow your authentic artist to create the card, and then add a personal message inside, addressed to you. Read your message every day for at least a month!

Jane Teresa Anderson

ORIGINAL THREAD

Below is the original forum discussion on this dream, contributed before Jane Teresa's 2009 interpretation.

Carole

08:12 12/10/1999 

Dear Lynn

Hi. Your dream to me seems to be centred around your relationship with your husband. In the dream you are driving with your husband and brother-in-law (having both brothers together may reflect the male characteristics predominant in his family). You stop for a meal. We can feed ourselves in many ways: spiritually, emotionally, mentally as well as physically, and you may well have wanted to feed your relationship in the dream.

How do you do this? By going into a department store to buy greetings cards. In other words, you are trying to communicate with your husband, but you become frustrated when your efforts are thwarted because, despite waiting, no clerks are present to make the exchange. Communication is an exchange, and I wonder if you have been waiting for your husband to respond to your efforts to greet (welcome, communicate) with him.

You become angry in the dream and end up leaving the store without either card. In other words, perhaps you feel, instead of getting closer, your anger/frustration is preventing you from getting through to him. YOu feel like giving up.

YOu return to the van to discover your husband with an ex-girlfriend, holding hands. I am just wondering whether the ex-girlfriend is the 'girl you used to be'. Perhaps the relationship is evolving and you may well be feeling he loved the girl you were but there is some difficulty in the relationship as it is at the moment.

However, the dream ends optimistically in that although you are angry with him, you are willing to go along the trip anyway. You are willing to 'ride it out' because you know that he will become disillusioned with the memory of who you were, and will learn to appreciate and love once more the woman you have become.

These are just ideas... but I wonder if they resonate?

Best wishes

Lynn

09:04 12/10/1999 

I'm mulling this over, but I'm not sure this dream has to do with my husband directly. Things have been quite good with him. Do you have other thoughts?

Peta

13:34 12/10/1999 

Lyn - Can you identify any areas in your life where you (the conscious you ) are not being true to your inner knowing? - perhaps an old habit that you had dropped some time ago, but have recently revived. Perhaps a temporary return to old ways. Does this help? Peta

Janelle

17:22 12/10/1999 

Lyn have you been experiencing difficulty in expressing yourself? Like others are thwarting your efforts and you are feeling kind of frustrated? What's at the seat of your frustration and anger? What may you be feeling sad about? Is someone else or others controlling a current venture you are on and not including you or valuing your input?? Just some thoguhts to muse over...

regards, janelle

Lynn

18:55 14/10/1999 

I really appreciate your efforts here. I'm really having a hard time figuring this one out. I think you must be right about the returning to an old habit, I just can't think of what. I'm actually having no difficulties expressing myself for the first time in years.

I have something else I remembered about this dream. At the end, we went to a hotel- all four of us. Because my husband was rooming with his new girlfriend, I stayed in a room upstairs with his brother (separate beds). I was laughing because I watched my husband's girlfriend carry in loads and loads of stuff which he had to carry up the stairs (their room was on the floor below mine). She was really superficial and I could see that he was already tiring of it.

Maybe I've been having trouble with this dream because it's more positive than I'd originally thought. Like letting go of a clingy, superficial part of myself that resides in lower levels. in trade for a higher level of consciousness and knowing my "male" part would join me later.

I think you're right about the frustration and anger. I've been very frustrated with myself because the pace of my creative urges (new career) don't match my expectations of myself (that "old habit" you mentioned!). But I keep forgetting that the time I've spent improving myself hasn't been wasted, even if not economically productive.

Wow! Sometimes it just all comes together when you're typing a reply! Thanks guys!!

Janelle

16:07 15/10/1999 

Lynn, a hotel is temporary accommodation whilst you are in transit or on your journey. They stayed in the room BELOW yours which is significant too. The girlfriend has lots of baggage but you are travelling lighter. Like you are evolving and have transcended what was before. I'm also wondering about the significance of your own masculine and feminine sides here. Balancing what was formerly quite imbalanced. Once perhaps your masculine side was stronger, more in control, more dominant. Now perhaps your female side has evolved to the point of being "amused" at your old ways. You wouldn't do it like that again - be so dependent, have so many expectations, succumb to socially defined roles, merge your identity to a point of self-denial. The separate beds in your "higher" room is interesting too.

regards, janelle

Lynn

17:20 15/10/1999 

Thanks Janelle, I have to admit, I have been pretty amused with what I was, and how I let it dominate me. You may be interested to know that I've been wrestling with career options (masculine) lately, and my baggage was definately holding me back!

Thanks

Janelle

13:56 21/10/1999 

It is interesting isn't it! It seems that your dream highlighted a new balance between your energies. "You" rise beyond and above the old you. You don't necessarily let the male lead anymore nor react to it in the same way. The two energies recline beside each other in a higher space, connected equally side by side with healthy space between you(the single beds). A picture of equality, balance, respect and transcendence. I hope it is as nice as that!


A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z