Author

Subject: Ex-Boyfriend

Jen

03:12 12/09/2002 

I was walking down the street and it was dark. As I passed by a dimly lit Laundromat, I saw my ex-boyfriend inside. I went in and we were happy to see one another. We hugged. The feeling of the hug was warm, safe and there was a sense of security in it, as well as feeling familiar.

I broke up with my ex about a year and a half ago. We stopped speaking all together a year ago. I keep dreaming that we reunite and hug.

Dream edited for easier reading - JT, 2005

2004

Jane Teresa's View

Jane Teresa Anderson

Overview Interpretation & Dream Alchemy Practice suggestion

OVERVIEW INTERPRETATION

Hi Jen,

Your dreams show you are ready to heal the hurt of the break-up. That does not necessarily mean resurrecting the relationship, of course. It also does not necessarily mean the two of you need to meet to heal. In fact, the dream is YOUR dream and is entirely about you. It is not about your ex, even though he features in the dream. How so?

When you dream of your ex (or anyone else) they represent your thoughts, beliefs and feelings about them. How we see other people tells us more about ourselves than it does about them.

In your dream your ex represents something around the break-up: perhaps your hurt, grief or other feelings. Your feelings are open wounds needing healing. The healing comes in your dream in the form of a hug that makes you feel “warm, safe” and a “sense of security”. If you need these feelings, then the opposites of these feelings probably describe the open wounds: “cold (emotionally), unsafe, insecure”.

One of many ways to heal the hurt of a break-up within yourself is to forgive both yourself and the other person. On the road to doing this you might want to look at your own feelings and attitudes to understand the break-up more clearly.

In this dream it is dark, indicating you are feeling ‘in the dark’ and you pass a dimly lit Laundromat. So the Laundromat is only slightly better lit, suggesting that you are beginning to see light (to understand) but not yet fully. The laundry is a place to wash clothes, to turn what is soiled into something clean – a perfect setting for a healing.

In dreams our clothes often represent our attitudes. We dress according to our personality or to project a certain personality to others. So the laundry in your dream could reflect how you have been looking at your own attitudes (and perhaps at your ex-boyfriend’s) and cleaning them up ready for a fresh start. That’s probably not a fresh start with your ex though. It’s about a fresh start with you.

What were the good things about your ex-boyfriend? The hug in your dream may reflect your readiness to reunite with some of the good attitudes and feelings that you may have pushed away as a result of the break-up. For example, if your ex was very serious and that made you feel safe, then you may have gone for the opposite – for some serious risk-taking – after the break-up, but there comes a point to put balance into your life, to embrace (hug) your serious side as well as your not so serious side. That was just an example. When you contemplate this you’ll see what you might wish to bring back into your life.

There is something to beware here. If you have been missing feeling “warm, safe and secure” you may rush back into an old relationship for the wrong reasons – to reunite with warm, safe and secure without resolving the issues that caused the break-up. The way to avoid this pitfall is to always remember: dreams are about YOU, not about the other person. Your dream hug is about embracing yourself and giving yourself all the good things. It’s not about returning to an ex in compromise.

DREAM ALCHEMY PRACTICE

As your dream featured a Laundromat, a place for cleaning clothes, this dream alchemy practice features clothes.

Buy yourself a new item of clothing, something that expresses a healed and happy you. Choose something that projects feelings of warmth, safety and security while also embracing the good qualities you identified when reading the interpretation.

Make the item something you will wear frequently.

Jane Teresa Anderson

You can consult with Jane Teresa or her Dream Team and receive your interpretation by email within five working days.

ORIGINAL THREAD

Below is the original forum discussion on this dream, contributed before Jane Teresa's 2004 interpretation.

Beth

15:29 12/09/2002 

When we dream of embracing someone it can suggest that we would benefit by embracing within ourselves certain attributes that person has.

It can be helpful to let the words flow and write down on paper how you perceived his personality, and what you liked about it him, or admired in him. For example, something like this - easy going,laid back, patient etc. The attribute that most jumps out at you is likely be the one that you need to cultivate within yourself right now, that you need to embrace in the name of wholeness and balance.

In the dream the hug brought you a sense of security, maybe that is the clue.

Good luck with your dream processing Jen.

Claire

16:01 02/10/2002 

It sounds to me as though you are healing your inner relationship with your ex. You have forgiven him and perhaps yourself for any hurt caused by the breakup and your life has moved on, but you may still harbor small resentments towards him. Perhaps you need to create a ritual in which you meditate on all his good qualities and attributes and the happiness you shared together and then conclude by forgiving him and yourself for any unhappiness you both caused. Then let go.