Author

Subject: Snarling at the wolf

Jemina

12:40 23/08/2002 

My husband and I are at his aging aunt's place. There is a tall bed and there is a mess of clothes and things on it. I have a vague recollection that I have covered something up on the bed. Something I don't want the aunt to see.

The next moment my husband and I are on a hydrofoil, like a huge, heavy lifeboat with a thick, rounded, black inner tube-like bottom. We are young as when we met, and strong. We are in a dirty brown canal surrounded by the basements of buildings, and the ground on the side is dirt, like one might imagine the sides of a dirty canal in old London. I only notice the right side of the canal. It is dark.

Along the way there is a small lit up scene with a small crowd of parents, and a lot of tiny children playing around one or two little coloured merry-go-round like horses, flat metal ones, but no merry-go-round, against a background of a corrugated iron wall.

Something in me says we have to get there first and I sway forward in the boat to get it going. I am amazed it takes off because it's so big. Then my husband gives it a huge push and it lunges forward and the two boats behind us, which are obviously trying to get ahead of us, get further and further behind as we tear down this canal, dodging old wood stumps along the way. It’s a race! We must get there first!

Another ferry, more like a fishing boat with a wooden pointed front, is coming towards us. There are others behind it, which I can’t see. I can only see the front half of the boat. It's also going fast and pushing big waves in front of it! Then we see the heads of lots of people swimming around (for fun) in the dark water. They have swim caps on. I can just make them out. There is a panic and fear in me that we may hurt someone while speeding along as we try to dodge the heads.

The water surges up in front of us due to the ferry and our boat getting closer and closer to each other. All of the sudden a huge muddy brown wave rises high above us and throws us over. We get caught in it and then slowly sink into the deep canal along with all the parents and children from the side.

The water is lit up. I can see the people all around me, dressed in t-shirts and shorts, their faces frightened and their bodies, sinking slowly down as if they are dead but I know they are not. It's not too scary down there, very silent. It is clear muddy water but with the light so bright it becomes a muddy yellow and I can see everyone clearly including the bubbles that come out of people's mouths and rising to the surface. We all float up again, only for a second, and catch our breath as we sink down again. My husband and I are holding hands and I see a tiny blond boy in long overalls and t-shirt. I take his hand. I'll save him.

The scene changes. It’s dark. It’s like a desert. No water, but there is an old rickety and rotten, wooden, rectangular platform, one metre off the ground. I can still see the dirt ground under the old building, which is held up by concrete pylons, and I leave the child there, telling him to stay and wait. His mother must be really worried. I go back to the lit up scene and see a tall thin woman with very short blonde hair looking not so desperate but lost and wandering. I tell her the child is OK. I take her back to the scene and find that the child is now chubby and taller and it is not hers. This child is quiet but OK and perhaps in a state of shock, looking towards the platform.

I go onto the platform. It does not look so old now more as if it were just built but a bit rough, out of, perhaps, pine. My heart is beating. I am afraid for the child I rescued. There is a desert around us and there’s a natural rock wall with a small cave entrance on my right. It is dark at the edges of the scene but lit up in the centre like a stage.

I walk across and look over the edge. More fear takes hold. The child is lying there, could be dead, wet with saliva, maybe chewed, wearing very light blue or white clothes. It looks like a little rag doll. Then a fat, little, dark coloured puppy or cub comes out near the child. A fluffy thing, harmless, it has also been mouthed, wet with saliva, looks frightened. I think, wolf! The woman picks up the little rag doll baby.

My panic grows as I see half a wolf calmly step out of the cave. He is silver grey and has strength and dignity. Looks like a husky. The mother is now behind me on the ground with the other child and maybe my husband too.

The next thing I know the wolf is sitting in front of me. He is so tall in sitting position that he can look me straight in the face. He is now black. His mouth is open, his teeth big, and his red tongue hanging out. I am trembling with fear. I can hardly speak. I know that if I look it straight in the eye and make myself look threatening enough I can protect everyone. I know I can do it. My voice is squeaky. He opens his huge mouth and growls. I open mine as big as I can and make the biggest, loudest snarl. I keep it up. I am so frightened.

I start to wake up. I know that I must keep snarling and I do. The wolf starts to slowly fade away. I keep snarling loudly until I make him disappear completely. He disappears like a fading out in a movie. I know I must make him disappear completely so that he doesn't come to my dreams again.

He's gone. I think the scene lights up like morning and I can see colours clearly. I wake up trembling, get out of bed and record the dream on tape!

Dream edited for easier reading - JT, 2005

2004

Jane Teresa's View

Jane Teresa Anderson

Overview Interpretation & Dream Alchemy Practice suggestion

OVERVIEW INTERPRETATION

Hi Jemima,

At the end of your dream you confront the wolf, knowing that if you “look it straight in the eye and make myself look threatening enough I can protect everyone”. You snarl, head to head, and win. At the time of this dream, what did you feel threatened by? Who snarled at you? Who did you feel like snarling at? Where in your life do you feel vulnerable (like the little rag doll baby boy) and in need of protection? Are you sometimes defensive (snarling), trying to protect your feelings of vulnerability or weakness?

Wolves defend their young. They snarl at threatening outsiders to protect their young from harm. Your dream has several references to parents. Does the wolf symbolise your parenting instinct (even though he is male and you are female)? You described the wolf as having strength and dignity. Are these characteristics you see in yourself?

There are several references to strength in your dream:

You see yourself on the ferry with your husband as “young, as when we met, and strong”. There is also the strength of the wolf and the iron wall in the playground. When your children were small, did you or your husband parent with an iron will (will, not wall), or what strengths did you draw upon or use in parenting? Look to your own childhood and ask the same questions.

The start of a dream often states the situation your dream goes on to address. Your dream starts with the feeling of a cover up. We don’t yet know what you’re covering up, but the cover seems to be a mess. What messy situation in your life now might be a foil for a cover up?

Notice the word foil. It comes up in hydrofoil, the very next part of your dream. Dreams often use word play. This next part of your dream first focuses above the water and then below. What we see below the water may give clues as to what you are covering up. What we see above the water may give us clues as to how you cover up. Water, in dreams, usually represents our emotions.

The dream reminds you of when you were younger. The water is dirty, dark – unclear. You were unclear about your emotions perhaps back then. You see the children playing on flat metal horses. There is no merry-go-round. No merriness – some joy missing. Flat (horses) is a word we use to describe joylessness too. Feeling flat. There is strength but some element of flatness in this scene.

Next your dream becomes a race. There is a huge feeling of competition, of push. You use the word push several times. You are surprised by the strength of your own push, and the boats are “pushing big waves”. Where in your life are you, or have you been, highly competitive, or pushed to get what you want? Think of the expression ‘making waves’. Have you worked hard to make waves in your life? Why?

Next you see the heads of all the swimmers and – guess what – they’re swimming for fun! So fun, joy comes into the picture, but what do you do? Forge ahead in the boats, dodging the heads for fear of hurting anyone. But think about this! You said, “we may hurt someone while speeding along…”. Wouldn’t the best approach have been to slow down, to ease off the push, to find an alternative to racing, to competition? You dodge fun for fear of hurt.

Think again about the cover up. Cover up, foil, dodge. Why might you be covering up fun, fearful of slowing down to express joy, to play? What mess (messy clothes at the start of your dream) might you have created to stop yourself from slowing down and facing something you do not want to face?

Well, you go underwater in the next part of your dream to find out. You note that the parents and children are sinking “as if they are dead but I know they are not”. This sounds like a reference to feeling flat (dead), joyless. You decide to rescue the little boy. As everyone in a dream really represents the dreamer’s beliefs and feelings, what you are doing here is rescuing something within yourself, something that should be playing (little boy). This is good, but how does it help us to understand what you are covering up, apart from flatness and lack of fun?

The next scene provides more information. You are in a desert. No water. Dry of emotion. There may also be a dream pun here on desert – feeling deserted, abandoned. You leave the child there (desert him, for a moment, while you search for his mother). The child feels abandoned by his mother. When you find the mother she is “NOT so desperate but lost and wondering”. Here is a key: somewhere in your present situation or past you felt abandoned but you were out of touch emotionally with the depth of this. You did not feel the full desperation. You simply felt lost. Was this where you fought back with strength? Was strength the cover up for feelings of abandonment? Has that strength powered your protective nature? Must you be on constant alert, not allow yourself to play (go off guard) for fear of letting your vulnerabilities show?

You then see the child in shock. This is most likely a shock that you buried, a shock of abandonment that you repressed. He is looking at the platform and it now looks like pine. Pine is a dream pun on grief – pining. Then you see the full impact of the abandonment, the rag doll baby. The rag doll baby is the vulnerable, abandoned, hurt part of yourself that you have identified and rescued in your dream. How hard have you been working to cover this up?

As soon as you acknowledge the vulnerable, hurt feelings, you no longer need to be overly strong or defensive to protect your feelings. It is time for you to face the energy of the snarling wolf that has protected you from grieving over past feelings of abandonment.

Jemima, it’s all about finding the middle path between rag doll weak and snarling wolf strong.

You will find it helpful to read ‘The awesome wild animal’ in Dream Alchemy, pages 150-6.

DREAM ALCHEMY PRACTICE

Writing Exercise

Set a timer for 15 minutes and start writing or typing as fast as you can – with no room for thought – a story titled ‘Desert’. Just let the words flow – a kind of stream of consciousness. Stop when the timer sounds. Read over your story at leisure. You will be surprised how much you learn from this.

How does this work?

By working with dream elements and symbols in writing form you are communicating with your unconscious mind in its own language to create change, to explore your feelings and to resolve and heal past issues.

More details on various writing exercises as Dream Alchemy Practices in: “Dream Alchemy”, by Jane Teresa Anderson, pages 337-338.

Jane Teresa Anderson

You can consult with Jane Teresa or her Dream Team and receive your interpretation by email within five working days.

ORIGINAL THREAD

Below is the original forum discussion on this dream, contributed before Jane Teresa's 2004 interpretation.

Oobe

08:44 24/08/2002 

Good thing Jemina, not giving into fear with the wolf is a major step. Our energies are compromised if we give in, and it is better to make our dream "movies" have an apropriate ending. A wolf may represent Ravenous desires, unfulfilled appetites; sly, sneaky. Attacks peace of mind and well being. Fill up from within; honor own selfhood. They are all you, albeit from your shadow side or aspects.

There may be a role or issue you are hiding from yourself, which may be intimate in detail. It is placed it seems in your past and is an ugly emotional event where you symbolically "drowned" in the process. The colour of the water, in the river of life of the time indicates this. Your inner child qualities suffered maybe here, and so you attempt a rescue.

This is going deep into the unconscious area of yourself.

There is a way of addressing anything which you need to come to terms with in the dream, apart from the conquered wolf. Visualise at length the scenes to be the opposite several times before sleep. Change the water to clear blue, the river banks to looking lush and un-polluted, and the people all playing and alive while you boat through them safley. Also change the desert to a beautiful oasis.

Hope this helps, and keep up the good work.

Jemina

11:09 31/08/2002 

Thanks for your insight and your suggestions Oobe. I did want to ask why when everything around me is dark above the water, below I can see clearly and what could all the heads of all those people swimming in the canal mean? And why does the wolf change? Thanks. Jemina