Chapter 12

Feelings and Emotions

I act out a lot of verbal and physical confrontations in my dreams, stuff I shy away from in my conscious life. I guess this type of thing is the brain doing a little midnight therapy.
(Mell, writer)

In dream life we are free to express ourselves and explore our emotions and feelings without fear of judgement from others or concern for the waking life consequences. Our unconscious has full rein to vent and express itself, and its currency is the language of emotion and feeling. Have you ever tried to calculate numbers or think through a rational process in a dream? It rarely works, unless you are a lucid dreamer. I have woken many times remembering dates, times, phone numbers or equations I thought I had forgotten, but these were found buried in my unconscious, as if I had rifled through a filing system. Their recall was not the result of calculation or any rational thinking process.

No, our dreams are not the stuff of rational calculated thought, but unfettered, unrepressed expression of our unconscious emotions. Our dreams enable us to face these feelings and then make (perhaps rational) decisions based on this insight and self-understanding.

Emotional Hangovers

Our emotions, especially when expressed freely in dreams, speak to us powerfully, even though we may not be able to explain their impact in rational language.

Dreams can uncover feelings we do not acknowledge in waking life. Without interpretation of the dream, it may be difficult to see a connection between the story-line of the dream and the emotions it evokes. People who say they never dream, or find it difficult to recall dreams, often have emotional blocks they do not wish to bring to waking life to face. It is safer to forget the dream. Writing down the feeling you wake up with each morning is a way of getting back in touch with your dreams since that feeling is often residual from the night’s dreams. That old ‘I got out of bed on the wrong side this morning’ feeling suggests a night spent reviewing issues which were neither resolved by the dream nor brought into waking consciousness. The irritable feeling signals ‘unfinished business’.

One excellent dream interpretation tool is to look at the feelings expressed in dreams. If you write down your dreams in a journal, take time to express how different parts of the dream made you feel. Then go back with a highlighter pen and mark all the feeling words. The meaning of the dream is likely to be much clearer. If you don’t recall how you felt in the dream, close your eyes and watch the dream again in your mind’s eye. Note how you react, and record those feelings instead.

Bryan asked me to ride on an apple-green ferris wheel, saying, ‘Trust me, it is safe’, convincingly. The plastic wheel arms attached to my chair broke, and I was left hanging on to the outside wheel. Later I got off and walked away. ‘Now I am safe’, I thought.
(Rosemary, secretary)

Much later, Rosemary left Bryan, and that was when she recalled the dream. The dream underlined her lack of trust in Bryan, and the knowledge that she would feel much safer without him. In retrospect she saw the accuracy of her dream.

I was with some girls and I had won a jumping race, although I’m always last in life. We walked home under an underpass that was light (it had always been dark as a child). At home, I opened a door without a key. I didn’t feel safe.
(Serena, administration officer)

Why didn’t Serena feel safe? Her dream had shown her to be successful twice. Firstly she won a race, and secondly she found it easy to open the door. In her waking life she is always last in races, and the dream also implies that she expects doors (opportunities) to be locked. It is interesting to note that the tunnel was light, as if light were being thrown onto her situation by the dream. Serena didn’t feel safe with success. Recognising this attitude could be a turning point for her.

That Sinking Feeling

Look at the number of feelings expressed in Erika’s dream, and try to get a ‘feeling’ of its meaning as you read:

Dream Title: ‘Here Comes That Sinking Feeling’. I was a passenger on board a cruise ship that had anchored itself offshore of some beautiful, tropical Mediterranean islands. There were many people swimming from the ladders off the ship and the waters were warm. Everyone was wearing old-fashioned swimming togs from the fifties or sixties. I swam round and round and began to look below the surface, then swam under the water. There were people under the water trying to save others by making them swim up. One woman just didn’t want to go and offered no assistance to the man who was trying to help her. I realised that I had been swimming around down there for some time. I tried to swim up but it was no use. The harder I swam, the further I was going down. Some strange music filled my mind and the voice of Annie Lennox and the Eurythmics sang in with ‘Here Comes That Sinking Feeling’, strange and melodious. I was being calmed. I had no control over where I was going, but I knew it was okay. Deeper and deeper I went, almost feeling enlightened. I woke up with the music playing in my head and it has often returned.
(Erika, administration officer)

The overall feeling from the dream is that Erika’s road to enlightenment is to be found by letting go, sinking deeper rather than by fighting her feelings.

The rest of the dream can be interpreted symbolically to underscore this conclusion. She is at a point in her life where she feels safe (anchored and warm) enough to delve into her emotions or unconscious (sea). She is either relating to years past, represented by the old-fashioned togs, or, looking at ‘old-fashioned’ feelings. She is prepared to look below the surface and dives deep. She sees two options: to bring ‘things’ to the surface and ‘save’ herself, or to let go and sink deeper. At first she tries to come to the surface for survival but finds that trying hard and fighting the feeling is not enough. She is later calmed to see that going deeper into her sinking feeling is the way towards enlightenment.

Erika reported that the song has often returned. She would be wise to note her emotional circumstances at these times, and heed her inner advice to ‘let go for enlightenment’. Any daytime memory, or return of part of a dream, tells you that this is the type of situation the dream was reflecting upon.

That Flying Feeling

One of the most powerful, emotionally charged dream sensations is flying: without the plane, of course! The following examples reveal the ‘meanings’ behind flying dreams for different people, showing how important it is to focus on the feeling to fully understand the dream. The sensation of flying in a ‘dream’ can also accompany an out-of-the-body or astral travel experience, but this is described in a future chapter. On now with the symbolic:

I fly around and sometimes I don’t know where I am. I breast-stroke as I fly, but if I stop, I start to go down. The dream gives me a sense of freedom, a sense of power, and more psychic intuitive abilities.
(Isabelle, legal secretary)

I’m flying and I’m the only one who can. People ask me how I do it. I always tell them it’s easy and that they can do it if they choose to. It’s simply a state of mind. One meditates and simply lets go. However, I’m the only one who does fly.
(Alex, clerk)

Alex feels he has simple answers that others do not trust. The dreams see him enjoying this knowledge and also urge him to fulfil his highest potential by following his own advice.

I am a flier. Flying has always occurred in situations of escape. However the terror of the situation never completely overrode the exhilaration of the flying experience, consequently there was a degree of pleasure in the fear which gave me balance.
(Dorothy, retired teacher)

Dorothy’s flying dream perhaps reflected her love of living on adrenalin, of thriving on danger, which gave her a sense of balance in her life. Dorothy’s love of dream flying prompted her to carry out her own research:

Although my survey and counselling experience suggest that just as many men, if not more men, as women fly, Dorothy’s observations probably show an emotional family trait, particularly because she noted their similar mental characteristics.

Flying less as you grow older is generally acknowledged among fliers, although an increase in flying, or a whole new aeronautic interest, is often sparked in older age.

A few years ago I had another spell of flying. This time I was not being chased, but exploring the road ahead. I usually started at a real life road or place, and then would discover new paths and ways. A most beautiful experience and peaceful waking up.
(Amleh, receptionist)

Amleh’s flying has become a way of seeing ahead and looking at possible new directions in her life. A bird’s-eye view gives a sense of peace. Her waking life feeling of peacefulness underlines the message of the dream, which is to explore new avenues and ways of being.

Acting on a Feeling

The waking feeling is often sufficient to inspire action with no need for further interpretation, as shown by Jaquelyn’s dream. Note the feelings described in her report:

I was on a busy highway, although no other cars were in sight. I was searching for a car but needed to get off the highway. I knew of an entry on my left, but I couldn’t make an exit turn there. The road surface became very bumpy and soft. Then I was in a car park with my husband but we were sitting against a wall between the cars. He said he was going away for a week. I said I wanted to come too, but he didn’t want that. I tried to argue with him, but he will never argue. He remained adamant. I became upset. I heard my mother two cars away and hoped she wouldn’t see us, but she did. I then left the car park and headed back with a small child. We crossed an unfamiliar road which seemed difficult to cross due to traffic and people. Once in a small room, which presumably was home, the child hid and I tried to tempt him out with marbles. I felt lonely as if no-one wanted me, and I resolved to book my own holiday.

Jaquelyn’s dream is full of symbolism too, with details of her need to get off the busy highway of life and change direction, the difficulties she foresees in doing this, crossing unfamiliar territory, tempting her inner child to come out and play and so on. All of this gives detail, but Jaquelyn innately understood the meaning of her dream and took the appropriate action, not only by taking a holiday, but also by instigating changes on her return.

A simple feeling, gleaned from a dream, can give a whole new direction to life, as shown by Erika:

I was driving in a snow-filled car park in America where the snow was about a metre deep. There were paths everywhere and a lot of plastic people (yuppies who look the same, confused, scurrying about), but there was also a tall Negro man wearing a long coat. He was very distinguished and I knew he was a judge, kind and just. He stood still and used his open hand to wave me in the right direction. It was a great feeling to be helped like that.
(Erika, administration officer)

Erika needed to accept more help from ‘real’, non-plastic people in her life, as indicated by the positive feeling she had in her dream when she accepted the Negro man’s direction. She would have been wise to check that she herself was also coming from a ‘real’ perspective, being true to her native (Negro) instincts, responding to and reporting what was kind and just, and not being plastic to suit others’ expectations. Stillness, openness and distinguished (wise?) poise were all that was required. The snows (frozen emotions) of a more ‘yuppie’ approach were, no doubt, melted by the more genuine, warmer (tropical Africa?) approach.

Contacting the Dream Feeling

Another way to get in contact with your feelings in dreams is to paint, draw or use some form of creative art to express your dream.

Try poetry, story writing, acting, miming, dancing, playing music or any creative medium which may work for you, which may draw out your feeling connection with your dream and lay it bare for you to experience and acknowledge. When dealing with children, always ask them ‘How did the dream make you feel?’, or get them to paint, draw or simply choose a colour to represent the dream.

Whichever method of dream interpretation you choose, none is complete without checking the emotional content. Feelings and emotions are our cornerstone and without their expression, our dreams, like our waking lives, would be meaningless. Use the emotions in your dreams not only as an interpretation key, but also to colour your waking life perspective and to help you to become a full expression of your true self.