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Chapter 16
Tell Me a Story
Fairy Tales, Myths and Modern Parables
How many of us take straight facts about
ourselves or about life easily? The best communicators are often well versed in diplomacy,
able to spin a story, tell a tale, or somehow produce that magical mental picture: the one
that illustrates far more than a thousand direct and tactless words. We get our difficult
messages across to a child or work colleague by pointing to an outside situation that
bears a resemblance to the more personal one at hand. Tactfully we are able to discuss
this more objective situation without ever acknowledging its similarity to our own
circumstances. Through such an objective eye we can more clearly judge our own behaviour
or relationships.
Watch any American family situation comedy on
television to see the happy family tie-ups at the conclusion of each weekly episode.
Regardless of whether you endorse the morals presented, our children sit and absorb these
modern-day parables. Who knows how many take personal note and become more caring towards
their peers or parents as a result.
Westerners raised on centuries-old fairy tales
absorb from early childhood the lessons of, for example, the Three Little Pigs (build your
life from solid foundations; if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well), or
Cinderella (humility and honesty wins in the end.) We see how our genuine embrace of the
unfortunate can be endlessly rewarding, as when the little princess kissed the ugly frog
and transformed not only the unfortunate animal but also her whole life when he became the
handsome prince.
Whether our fairy tales contain great ageless
wisdom, or whether they were fabricated to keep the peasants in order (a kind of
‘opium of the masses’) is beside the point. The point is that stories, role
characters, myths and legends capture and enrapture us with their magical objectivity,
imprinting deeply on our unconscious selves to instill some kind of ancestral moral code.
Every culture has its myths and legends and yet,
although the names, languages and stories may change, the messages tend to follow similar
lines. We can look across the world and marry the legend of King Arthur with the Myth of
the Fisher King. Handed down to each new generation, a story may change to suit the
particular times, religions or cultures, to suit war or famine, to suit a mountain village
or a coastal town, but the main story-line always survives.
Jesus spoke in parables because, presumably, they
had a more lasting impact on the listeners. Our dreams often speak in parables, or use
fairy tale or movie characters, and, in so doing, deliver the personal message with
greater tact but far more impact.
When I was a child I used to dream of walking up
a hill to my grandmother’s house. There would be signs everywhere saying
‘Gran’s House’, but it was a trick. It was really a witch’s house and
she would have my Gran in gaol.
(Krystal, mother)
This recurring dream suggests that Krystal, as a
child, feared deception or felt insecure about the relationships around her.
I read the questionnaire before sleeping last
night and had a hugely apocryphal dream featuring Jesus, miracles, destruction of world
power figures and cataclysmic destruction, all of which my mother, my father, myself and
one unknown other survived by believing in our own reality.
(Natalie, student)
When I received Natalie’s completed
questionnaire, she told me she had found the exercise to be great therapy, and recommended
several friends to join the survey simply to reap this benefit: which they did. It seems
that contemplating the questionnaire alone was enough to unleash a ‘state of
play’ dream in readiness for her to work on the next day.
Erika’s dreams bring old fairy tale
characters as well as modern fictional space characters to life, allowing her to role play
and experience situations that are relevant to her waking life. As she expressed: ‘A
bit far-fetched perhaps? Well, how successful was Star Trek: to boldly go where
no-one has gone before!’
I had a series of dreams between May 1988 and
December 1991, which were like fairy tales, nursery rhymes or bible stories. In all of
these, I was either a part of the dream or the characters talked to me. I was Grandmother
Time, Gulliver, Cinderella and a mouse. I watched the man who went to mow a meadow. I
sowed, reaped, worked hard and enjoyed the sun.
All of these dreams seemed to be sending a
specific message to me, for example, ‘do good and you shall be rewarded’ or
‘seek and ye shall find’ and so on. I once had a dream called ‘Space
Fantasy’ that was most impressive. I saw in it the key to life, my truth. This is
that I must pass tests and reach to higher levels of achievement in my own fashion, with
harmony and dignity, without abusing anyone or anything. The dream went like this:
I was on board an enormous space station where
there was a ceremony taking place. I was wearing a futuristic uniform and was being
decorated for some commendable act or achievement. As the decoration was pinned on my
uniform I was saluted in the most honourable way by the entire crew. The many different
ranks and officers were differentiated by different coloured uniforms, and the higher the
office or rank, the higher they stood on a wide platform of many levels, floors and
balconies.
The officer who decorated me was my brother,
although he was much older than in present-day waking life. He was the most decorated and
distinguished officer. Everyone else in the dream was another family member, or a person
of special significance in my life. Friends, teachers ,mentors, in fact anyone who had
left an immoveable impression on my mind or life. The different ranks and ages of people
saw the face of a person repeated over and over many times, like a large family.
The scene and the looks of hope, congratulation
and expectation on the faces of all led me to an amazing revelation that this was the
pattern of my life: all tests and results, achievement and triumph. I am not even alone.
The dream showed the people in my conscious life were placed there to help me get through
my next test. Each step in life was deliberately planned by this giant inter-galactic
crew: protectors and guides for my journey home. I think of this dream every time I win or
lose. I take a deep breath and experience that feeling of accomplishment and self-worth.
(Erika: administration officer)
From Dream to Fairy Tale to Enlightenment
Changing your everyday dreams into myths, fairy
tales or television sitcoms can throw light on their true meanings and relevance to your
life. All you need is a pen, a piece of paper or a computer and a wild imagination.
First choose your preferred medium. What do you
relate to? Ancient Grecian legends, medieval folk tales, Shakespearian humour or tragedy,
Hans Christian Andersen, Rudyard Kipling, Woody Allen, Eastern mysticism, national
politics, ‘Full House’, Superman, Walt Disney or Star Wars? Choose your
weapon.
Next take each person who appeared in your dream
and write down their names at the head of your page. Without too much thought, assign each
person a story character. This should be a quick, gut reaction response, since you are
appealing to your unconscious to select the most appropriate role for each character. If
you feel your final list is a bit restrictive, you can invent a few more characters to
balance the baddies or whatever.
Then look at the background to your original
dream and choose a parallel setting which is more appropriate to your theme. If you were
driving along in a sports car, for example, and you have chosen a medieval folk tale
theme, put yourself on a fast pedigree stallion. If you were trapped in a cellar in your
dream, and prefer a space age script, relocate yourself to a sealed section of a space
rocket which is running out of oxygen.
If your dream had an ending, translate the feel
of the ending into an idea for the ending of your new theme. If, for example, your dream
ended when you picked up a ringing phone, and your theme is fairy tale, change the ending
to a messenger handing you a wax-sealed letter. If you dreamed of being saved from an
awkward situation by a neighbour, and your theme is Superman, rev up the excitement and
adventure and have the great hero himself rescue you from a blazing 20 storey apartment
block.
If there was no ending in your dream, make one up
in your story.
Rewrite the dream and don’t worry if it goes
off the track or if you feel you are losing touch with the dream. As long as you keep the
main characters in play, and maintain the outlooks and attitudes they had in your dream,
as well as sticking with the start and finish in your dream, you can be as creative as you
wish. Put yourself in the dream, either as yourself or as a character which suits the
original feel of the dream, and try to keep the same level of active or passive behaviour
that you had in the dream. This will help you to see how you interact with the dream
characters, and enlighten you about how you tend to interact with similar personalities or
similar situations in waking life.
If you are not satisfied with the way you are
treated or the way you behave in your story, rewrite it to satisfy you. Then translate
this rewrite into a formula for rewriting your day-to-day behaviour to achieve more
rewards in your waking life.
Example
Dream:
I dreamed I went to see my
bank manager to ask for a loan. I didn’t know whether I’d get the loan I wanted,
but I expected an overdraft at least, something to help me through the bad times. He
refused and for the first time in my life I felt humiliated. I was also anxious about
losing my home.
Rewrite:
I went to see the King to ask for protection from
his knights. My castle was attacked earlier in the year, and I feared for our safety. The
King, usually a kindly and understanding man, had helped me on numerous occasions before.
Today he seemed distant and refused my offer. I asked him why he wouldn’t help me
this time when he had done so before. ‘Ah,’ said the King. ‘Last year you
asked for precious gems to trade for materials to build fortifications. I gave you the
gems. Where are the fortifications?’ I felt humiliated and realised that I had
squandered resources that were given to me in good faith. I had not honoured the hand that
fed me. I wondered what would become of my home.
This fictitious example was simple and obvious,
but was chosen to show how we can see ourselves and our actions more honestly if we place
them in another setting, let the characters speak more for themselves and let our
imagination run wild. The dreamer might have chosen to create an ending for his story:
Ending:
I realised the King was right. We cannot take
without giving back. I offered to repay his previous kindness by making him a gift of my
finest horse.
Perhaps in waking life, this fictitious dreamer
might have decided to use his car as security against a new loan while he worked to pay
the debts he had accrued through overspending on his credit cards.
So much for a bit of fun, but you should have the
idea by now!
We recall some dreams only as single scenes, or
lasting impressions, yet can be just as puzzled by these short dreams as by the
movie-length variety. Use these scenes as starting points for creative writing.
Unconsciously you do understand the implications of your dream picture, or dream feeling,
and this meaning will often emerge in your waking creative treatment.
You can extend the dream through story writing,
poetry, or whatever medium appeals to you.
If Frances applied this method to the dream she
describes here, she would gain insight into its meaning:
My dream house is always unknown, by the sea. The
waves are pounding on the rocks close by. The house is so beautiful, all marble with
antique but uncluttered furniture. It has huge windows and doors overlooking the water.
The colours are beige to mauve, so classy and very serene regardless of the waves
pounding.
(Frances, actor)
Using her dream as an introduction only, she
should consider how she feels standing in this house, whether people are close by, what
time of day it is, what she can see through the windows and so on.
Who knows, apart from interpreting your dream,
you may come up with a prize-winning novel or script!
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