Issue 63, November 2003
Eye Light
©Jane Teresa Anderson, November 2003
It all started with eyeliner.
In many dreams over many years I drew eyeliner around my eyes only to see, when looking into the mirror, red-rimmed eyes looking back at me. Where a gentle shade of grey should have highlighted my blue eyes, red played perfect match to bloodshot whites.
The meaning of these dreams was easy to see, even through blurry red eyes. I (or eye) was drawing my attention to grief and how to express it.
I am a wordsmith and have been an avid lover of red lipstick for decades. I wear red lipstick because I like it, but perhaps at a deeper level I wear it to place emphasis on my words. In these dreams I used red lip liner as eyeliner. My dreaming mind was speaking loud and clear, but through my eyes, not my mouth.
When these dreams came I would take time out, alone, to let the tearful emotions express themselves. Ten minutes, half an hour or sometimes an afternoon was all it would take for the release of tears to explain themselves to me. I would understand why the clouds had gathered and so the blue sky-eyes would return. With added wisdom.
Sometimes we cannot find the right words to express grief, frustration, anger and other teary emotions so we suppress the so-called negative and highlight the positive. We block or deny tears and smile at the world.
A friend once told me she was not happy with her life but coped with it by focussing on other people and events outside herself. She worked to help others, involved herself in charity work and was indispensable to her children as taxi driver, cheerleader, homework assistant and waiter. She paid zero attention to any call from within fearful of where it might lead her. And so it led her absolutely nowhere. No matter how much she involved herself in life, there was still an aching unhappiness in her heart, calling like a lost child, longing for love and attention. Her heart was the only child she didn't embrace.
Another friend takes the opposite approach. She expects and plans for what she calls 'meltdowns'. She sets aside two or three days by herself to simply feel, to wallow, to dump the adrenalin overload from stress and to sleep. She emerges fresh, released and with new insight.
If you watch your dreams you will be able to anticipate emotional surges and set aside time to defuse them while letting them speak to you. Tell tale signs include tidal wave and other watery dreams, stormy dream weather or gathering clouds and dream bombs about to explode.
Guided by your dreams you gain the opportunity to give private audience to your emotions, to let them speak to you rather than letting them speak to people around you inappropriately. Once you've understood where your emotion is coming from you can decide whether or not to share those feelings. Best of all, you get first pick on applying your newfound insight in life enhancing ways.
Nature offers us all the cliched rewards of experiencing emotional rains and storms. The sun shines after the rain, signalling its emergence through rainbows. Birds sing after the rain. Newly washed leaves breathe and plants grow. The air clears, as does our vision. Dust, dirt and debris are washed away. The past is laid to rest and a new day begins.
We need rain to grow and thrive.
In a more recent dream I was, once again, applying soft grey eyeliner to highlight my blue eyes. I looked in the mirror and saw not grey, not red, but silver. In the background of my dream people from a long past and stormier era of my life were arriving for a celebration. This was my dream acknowledgement, my celebration of the silver lining those people gifted me.
Let your dreams guide you through when you encounter clouds. How else will you discover life's silver linings?
Jane Teresa Anderson
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